


No Greater Love

by Grumpymagrat



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-24
Updated: 2013-01-24
Packaged: 2017-11-26 18:18:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/653069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grumpymagrat/pseuds/Grumpymagrat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when you lose someone unexpectedly on a rescue?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1: The Rescue Call

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: We do not own the Thunderbirds. No money was made off this endeavor.
> 
> WARNING: This is a DEATH fic. If you don't like those, please don't even start reading this story. You have been WARNED. Please do not send flames.
> 
> By : GrumpyMagrat and Magratconvert

_"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." - John 15:13 (KJV)_

Chapter 1: The Rescue Call

Gordon was in the pool doing his daily laps when the alarm sounded through the villa. He climbed out of the pool and quickly dried off. He wrapped the towel around his waist and headed to the lounge. He didn't bother getting dressed. He really didn't expect to be sent out. It had been over a month since Thunderbird 4 had been needed on a rescue. As it was there weren't any natural disasters, like heavy storms or undersea seismic activities, going on. So unless there was a boat sinking or something man-made, he would be left behind again. When Gordon reached the command center, he found that Alan and Tin-Tin were already there. Apparently they had been taking advantage of the quiet house to spend some quality time together. Scott and Virgil entered the room a few seconds after Gordon. They each carried a tennis racket indicating where they had been when the call came in. John's portrait was now the live feed from Thunderbird 5.

"What have we got?" Scott asked.

"There is a warehouse fire at the Mitchner Industrial Complex. That is a three acre complex in San Diego, California." John replied. "The San Diego fire department is already stretched thin at the moment. They are battling a fire at the marina, another at an apartment high-rise, and a third fire at a three story mall. They were only able to dispatch two trucks to this new fire. It was the fire department who called us in. Mr. Mitchner is one of four people who are trapped in a basement bunker under the burning warehouse. The fire department seems to be keeping the fire at bay, but they can't affect a rescue. That's why they want us to come."

"Basement bunker?" Alan questioned.

"Yeah," John explained. "Apparently this Mitchner guy is very paranoid. He's convinced that there is a spy around every corner. So he built his corporate offices in a 'secure' bunker under one of his warehouses, which just happens to be the one on fire right now."

"Ralph Mitchner," Jeff broke in. "I remember him. About fifteen years ago Tracy Enterprises signed a two year contract with Mitchner Industries which Ralph broke after three months. I didn't pursue it because after just those three months, I was glad to be rid of him. Every time I sent a representative there he would accuse them of industrial espionage and have them thrown off the property."

"How does a guy like that stay in business?" Gordon asked.

"He got himself a military contract." Jeff answered. "Somehow their mutual suspicion of each other seems to work for them."

"Ok John," Scott addressed his brother. "Is there anything else that we need to know about?"

"Not that I'm aware of at this time." John replied. "I've downloaded the co-ordinates of the warehouse to both Thunderbird 1 and Thunderbird 2. The fire department sent a courier to get the plans for the complex that are on file. Hopefully he will have them by the time that you reach the danger zone."

Jeff took charge and began to give orders. "Thanks John, keep us abreast of any changes that occur at the complex."

"F-A-B" John replied as the live feed was replaced once again by his portrait.

Jeff continued. "Scott, get going. I want you to have a chance to look over the schematics of the complex. Try to have a plan ready when Virgil gets there."

"I'll do my best." Scott said as he grasped the two wall lamps and spun out of sight.

Addressing his middle child, Jeff said. "Virgil, you're definitely going to need the mole. It's the most expedient way to get into an underground bunker. Go ahead and take the firefly too just in case the fire department does end up needing some help."

"F-A-B" Virgil replied as the portrait of his father's rocket tipped up and he slid head first out of sight.

"Gordon," Jeff said getting the attention of his red-haired child. "You haven't been out lately. Why don't you go along and lend a hand?"

Gordon at first stiffened when his dad addressed him, but his face took on a big grin when he found out that he was going on the mission. "F-A-B, Father." He said as he bounced over to the lift that would take him to Thunderbird 2's hanger.

Alan just shook his head and asked his father. "Do you think that he remembers how hot and messy a fire rescue can be?"

Jeff smiled at his youngest. "Gordon's been so bored around here that if the rescue was to dig those people out by hand using a teaspoon, he would still want to go."

Alan nodded and said with a laugh. "You're right. He was getting bored, and the last thing that we need around here is a bored Gordon."

Tin-Tin left to get them some coffee while Jeff and Alan quietly waited for the first update on the rescue.  
"Thunderbird 2 from mobile control." Scott said into the mic.

"Thunderbird 2 here. Go ahead, mobile control." Virgil's voice came through the speaker.

"What's your ETA, Virg.?" Scott asked.

"ETA is 22.4 minutes. How does it look?" Virgil replied.

"Well, the mall fire is out, so the fire department has release two more trucks to help with this fire." Scott began to explain. "But they still want our help getting into the bunker. With our equipment, it will still be faster than anything they have. Go ahead and set down next to Thunderbird 1 in the clearing on the north side of the complex. Have Gordon go and start prepping the mole so it's ready to unload as soon as you get here. I'll download the drilling co-ordinates directly into the mole's computer. Let me know when you're ready to start drilling. Take Gordon with you in the mole. Since we haven't been able to establish contact with the victims, we don't know if there are any injuries. You might need an extra pair of hands. Let me know when you are ready to drill."

"F-A-B, Thunderbird 2, out." Virgil replied.  
Fifty minutes later, Virgil was back in communication with Scott. He had already landed and unloaded the mole. After getting permission from Scott, he had drilled down to the bunker, which had been fairly easy with just a slight adjustment to avoid a water pipe.

"We have broken through." Virgil reported. "The scanners did show four life signs. Gordon has gone out to access the situation." Just then Virgil heard yelling from the passenger compartment. "Hang on Scott; I think I hear some of them. Let me check it out and I'll get back to you."

"F-A-B, Virg." Scott said.

Virgil entered the passenger compartment and found his brother and four other people. The rescued "victims" seemed a little hot and dirty but otherwise none the worse for wear. One victim, however, seemed to be very angry and was standing toe to toe with Gordon, yelling in his face.

"I know you took the files." The man yelled. "I saw you at the file cabinet. If you don't hand them over right now, I'm going to have you arrested."

Gordon's face was flushed with anger, but he fought to keep his tone neutral. "Sir, I was only by the file cabinet to help your assistant up. International Rescue in NOT interested in your business secrets."

"That's a lie!" The man yelled. "You probably figured that you could make a mint by selling my secrets to the highest bidder."

Gordon rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath. "If you only knew how ridiculous that is…"

Virgil stepped in at that moment. "Is there a problem here?" He asked.

The man spun around and demanded. "Are you in charge here? I want to lodge a formal complaint against this…man." He spat the word 'man' out in a disgusted tone.

Gordon looked at his brother. He motioned toward the man. "Let me introduce Mr. Mitchner. He is under the impression that I have 'stolen' some of his classified files." Gordon made a rude hand gesture that only Virgil could see.

Virgil had to restrain his laughter. "No sir, I am not the one in charge. He is on the surface at our command post. I can arrange for him to see you as soon as we reach the surface."

"You do that, young man." Mitchner demanded. "And I want the police there too. I intend to have him arrested and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law."

Virgil tried to placate the man. "I'm sure that won't be necessary, but I'll make the arrangements."

Mitchner gave a snort of disbelief. "You do that, but I'm not letting him out of my sight. I don't trust him."

Virgil nodded. "Ok, but I need you to sit down and strap yourself in. I promise. He won't leave the passenger compartment until we reach the surface."

Mitchner looked between Virgil and Gordon. Finally he grumbled. "Ok, but you better not be lying to me. I'm a man of action. So you won't like it if you cross me." He sat down and began to buckle the safety straps while still shooting daggers at Gordon.

Virgil motioned Gordon closer but before he could say anything Gordon started into a whispered rant.

"He's nuts, Virg. I mean, he's certifiable." Gordon said. "I swear. I never even touched a file. He was watching me the whole time. I don't know what this guy's problem is, but…"

"Gordon, calm down." Virgil interrupted. "We'll just let Scott deal with all of this when we get up top. Until then though, I need you to stay here. We don't want to give him any ammunition."

"But Virg, I…" Gordon began.

Virgil broke in again. "I know Gordy, but unfortunately we need to prove that you don't have anything to hide. If you come into the cockpit with me, you know that Mitchner will try to use it against you."

Gordon blew out an exasperated breath. "You're right, but I hate being called a thief."

Virgil patted his brother's shoulder. "I know. I know. I don't like it anymore than you do, but we have to be professionals. I'm sure that when this gets all sorted out that it will just prove what a jackass Mitchner is. Go ahead and take that far seat so that Mitchner can still see you. I'll get us topside as fast as I can. Don't let him get to you. It'll work out. I promise."

Gordon nodded and sat down. He gave Virgil a wry look as he began to buckle his safety harness. "Get going. I want to get home so I can work this anxiety off in the pool."

"You got it, waterboy." Virgil said as he headed back to the cockpit.

Virgil returned to the pilot's seat and re-established communications with Scott. "Mole to mobile control. Come in Scott."

"This is mobile control, go ahead mole." Came Scott's very professional reply.

Virgil sighed and began his report. "We have extricated all four victims and are making our way back to the surface, but we have encountered a small problem." Virgil then outlined Mitchner's accusations against Gordon, and his demand to have Gordon arrested.

Scott rubbed his hand over his face. Sometimes it just didn't pay to be the field commander. "Ok, Virg, as soon as you're topside, you can put things away. Send Gordon and Mr. Mitchner to me. I'll try to sort it out."

"F-A-B." Virgil replied grateful that he did not have to deal with the problem.

Although in reality it only took a few minutes for the mole to reach the surface, for Gordon, it seemed like hours. Mitchner kept shooting hateful looks in his direction and kept mumbling things under his breath. Gordon was sure that he had heard such delightful statements like: "lock him up for the rest of his life; two-bit thief; nothing but common gutter trash; national security breach; firing squad would be too good for him." As furious as Gordon was at Mitchner, his anger was also rising against the three women too. They knew the truth, but none of them seemed willing to come to his aid.

Gordon felt the mole change its angle of ascension. He heard the tell-tale thumps as she was secured back to her base. The engines changed pitch as the mole moved back to her horizontal position. She began her reverse trek away from the danger zone. Gordon turned to the passengers and spoke. "We have reached the surface. In a few minutes, my associate will be here to give you further directions. I'm sure that the local rescue workers will be taking over your care."

"I don't need any 'care'." Mitchner huffed. "What I need is the police so they can arrest you."

Gordon sighed and turned his back on Mitchner but said loud enough for him to hear. "I'm sure that they will be waiting also."

A few minutes later the engines shut down, and Virgil emerged from the cockpit. Addressing the three women, he began. "Ladies, there are fire department personnel outside that will render any aid that you require." Turning to Gordon, he said. "You are to report to mobile control with Mr. Mitchner."

Gordon rolled his eyes. "Just great, I get to go with the crazy man who wants to put me in front of a firing squad and then lock me away in prison for a few dozen years."

Virgil gave Gordon a puzzling look. "It'll be ok. Scott will sort this out." Turning to Mitchner, he continued. "Mr. Mitchner, I have explained your concerns to our field commander."

"Concerns!" Mitchner exploded. "They are more than concerns. I hope that this 'field commander' plans on doing something about this."

"I'm sure he will." Virgil said trying to regain control of the conversation. "He will meet you at the mobile control post. He will also have an officer waiting as you requested. So if you would follow my associate here, he will take you to mobile control."

"You're not coming?" Mitchner asked. "I don't trust him."

"Well, you will have to." Virgil sighed. "I have work to do. So unless you have changed your mind about lodging a complaint…"

"No, I have certainly NOT changed my mind." Mitchner broke in again. Turning to Gordon, he continued. "I guess I don't have much of a choice, but I want to say that I'm not happy about this. Come on. Let's go. I want to get this over with."

"Not as much as I do." Gordon grumbled under his breath. To Mitchner, he said. "Of course sir, if you would just follow me." He headed out of the mole not bothering to check if Mitchner was following.

It only took a few minutes for them to reach mobile control. Gordon made the introductions. "Mr. Mitchner, this is our field commander." Gesturing toward Mitchner, he continued. "This is Mr. Mitchner. He would like to lodge a complaint."

"Not just a complaint," Mitchner interrupted. "I want you arrested."

"Yes, I've been apprised of the situation." Scott said. "Let me introduce Officer Harrison from the San Diego police department. Now we need you each to explain to us in your own words what happened in the bunker. Mr. Mitchner, since you are the one bringing the complaint, why don't you start?"

"The situation is very simple." Mitchner began. "This…'person' stole valuable, confidential files. I want those files back. I want him arrested. I want him prosecuted and locked away."

This time it was Officer Harrison that interrupted. "First things first, sir. I need some specific information. Now you said that he took some confidential files. Can you tell me how many he took; a general topic of what they were and where were they at when he took them."

Mitchner hesitated for a moment. "Well, no, I can't. I don't know how many he took. Plus they are confidential, so I can't tell you what was in them. It would be a breach of National Security. I can tell you that they were in a locked file cabinet."

"Locked?" The officer questioned. "How did he get it opened?"

"I don't know." Mitchner said in exasperation. "They have all this fancy equipment. I'm sure that he had something that could have easily opened the lock."

"Ok sir," Turning to Gordon, the officer, who had been writing facts in his notebook, asked. "Can you give me your version of events?"

"Absolutely officer," Gordon said as he began to explain his version of the events. "My colleague and I had burrowed down to the bunker in the mole. Since he was piloting the craft, I told him that I would access the situation. When I got into the bunker, Mr. Mitchner was pacing back and forth. The three women were sitting on the floor with their backs against the wall, near the file cabinets. Two got up immediately, but one woman seemed to be in a state of shock. I bent down to examine her, but when I did, I lost my balance for a bit. I put my hand on the file cabinet to steady myself, but THAT IS IT. I never opened the file cabinet and I CERTAINLY never took any files. I don't know how he can stand there and accuse me. He was watching me the entire time."

The officer turned to Mitchner. "Is that true? You watched him the whole time?"

"Of course, it is." Mitchner replied indignantly. "Do you really think that I would let some stranger wander around my office without watching him?"

Officer Harrison looked up from his notebook. "So you saw this gentleman take the files?" He asked Mitchner.

Mitchner looked uncomfortably at his feet. "Well no, I didn't actually SEE him take them, but I know he did."

Officer Harrison looked between Gordon and Scott then back to Mitchner. "So let me get this straight. You watched him the whole time that he was in your office. Yet you never saw him open the cabinet and take the files. As a matter of fact, you can't even prove that any files were taken, can you?"

"But I know he did." Mitchner exclaimed heatedly. "Just because I didn't see him do it, doesn't mean that he didn't do it."

Officer Harrison sighed and shook his head. He closed his notebook and crossed his arms. "And what makes you so sure?"

"Because they all want my files." Mitchner ranted. "Those files are worth a lot of money."

"Who's 'they'?" Officer Harrison asked. "International Rescue?"

"Yes, them," Mitchner continued to rant. "Or anybody. I can't trust anyone. The risk is too great. Everybody is out to destroy me. I just know it."

"Well I'm sorry Mr. Mitchner." Officer Harrison patiently began. "But the way it looks now. You can't even prove that a crime was committed, let alone that this gentleman committed it. Now if you can come up with positive proof, then call me at the station. Until then, I have no reason to arrest this man."

Mitchner's face turned red and he stuttered before turning to Scott. "YOU! You're responsible for this. You picked this cop. You paid him off! Admit it! I know you did. Do you really think that I am that stupid? You're all in on it together."

Before Scott or Gordon could respond, Officer Harrison broke in. Sternly he said. "Those are some very serious accusations which I know for certain are false. My integrity cannot be bought and I resent the implication. Now, I suggest that you walk away and think twice about throwing around groundless accusations again."

Mitchner gave Harrison, Gordon and Scott hateful looks. "This isn't over, not by a long shot. I won't let you get away with it." He turned and stormed away.

Officer Harrison turned to the Tracys. "I am sorry that you had to go through that. Obviously that man is a little off the beam."

Gordon snorted. "A little? That man is so paranoid that he is certifiable."

Officer Harrison laughed. "Well, I still have to write a report, but it will say what we learned here. That Mitchner lives in a world made by his paranoia, and that his mind creates conspiracies all around him. I think that I will have a word with my captain about this also. I just want to cover all the bases."

Scott reached out to shake the officer's hand. "Thank you. I knew that Gordon was innocent of the accusation, but I never dreamed that Mitchner was so weird. That guy needs professional help."

Officer Harrison nodded. "I agree with you. Unfortunately, unless he is deemed a danger to himself or others, we can't lock him away."

"And making false accusations against innocent people isn't harmful?" Gordon asked disgustedly.

Harrison sighed. "Unfortunately, in this case, no. You could bring a civil case against him, but at this point that's about all that can be done."

"I suppose." Gordon grumbled. "But it doesn't make you feel any better when you're on the receiving end of one of his tirades."

"Well, come on Gords," Scott broke in again. "You can help me break down mobile control, so we can head back to base."

"Sounds good." Gordon said. He turned and shook Officer Harrison's hand. "Thank you for your help. I appreciate it."

"Just doing my job." Officer Harrison said, returning the hand shake. Gordon moved off to begin dismantling mobile control. Harrison extended his hand to shake Scott's hand again. "I should be thanking you guys. It's good to know that International Rescue is out there to help when a need arises."

Before Scott had a chance to respond, the world around him dissolved into chaos. He heard Gordon yell and felt himself being pushed from the side. He stumbled and fell to one knee. His heart stopped when he heard not one but two gunshots.  
Seconds before, Gordon had moved toward mobile control. He had disconnected the first section when he saw Mitchner coming towards them again. His first thought was "Oh great, the nut is back." In the next instance, time seemed to come to a crawl. He watched in horror as Mitchner raised a gun and pointed it at Scott. Gordon didn't even think he just reacted. "GUN!" He yelled while at the same time he gave Scott a sideways shove to move him out of the way. He barely even registered the sound of the gunshot before his chest exploded in pain. He fell to the ground on his back, gasping for breath. He never even heard the second gunshot.

Officer Harrison had been talking to the two International Rescue operatives. They were just saying their goodbyes when he heard the red-haired operative, the one that was called Gordon, yell "Gun!" In one swift movement, he pulled his own gun and began to scan for an assailant. He quickly located Mitchner aiming a gun in their direction. He leveled his own gun, but he was a split second too late as Mitchner fired his gun. Officer Harrison pulled the trigger and watched as Mitchner dropped to the ground. He looked around again. He saw that the two International Rescue operatives were on the ground. One was on his back; the other was on one knee. He knew that he needed to check on their condition, but he also needed to secure the scene. Chaos reigned. People were running for cover, not sure who was doing the shooting.

Speaking over his shoulder, he said. "Stay down. I think I got him, but I need to check and secure that gun."

He saw the dark haired man nod his head. He was concerned about Gordon because he hadn't moved yet. Well, first things first, he thought. "Gotta secure the scene." He cautiously made his way across the short distance to where Mitchner laid. He could tell that Mitchner was dead, but he knelt down and felt for a pulse just to be certain. He didn't find one. He shook his head. He called for a supervisor and the coroner. He couldn't believe how complicated this day had just become.  
Scott shook his head trying to make sense of the last few seconds. He heard Officer Harrison order him to keep down. He looked around and saw Gordon lying on the ground.

"Gordon!" He exclaimed as he crawled over to his brother's prone body. "Oh my God, no!" He hoarsely whispered as he saw a blood stain expanding across Gordon's chest.

Scott felt for a pulse. It was there although extremely weak and erratic. He pulled his sash off. Quickly folding it, he used it to apply pressure to the wound. Scott saw the officer shake his head after looking for a pulse on Mitchner.

Knowing that the scene was secure, he used his watch comm to call Virgil. "Virgil, I need a med kit at mobile control now! Gordon's down!"

Virgil must have heard the urgency in Scott's voice because he didn't ask any questions. He just responded with a curt "F-A-B".

Scott turned his attention to his younger brother. "Gordon? Can you hear me? Come on. Open your eyes for me."

Slowly Gordon's eyes opened and settled on his brother's concerned face. "Scott…" Gordon began weakly but he began to cough, spraying drops of blood on Scott as more blood dripped from his lips.

"Ssh, it's ok." Scott said.

"Can't…breathe…" Gordon gasped.

"Let's try to sit you up some then." Scott said as he tried to carefully raise Gordon up a bit. He winced in sympathy when Gordon groaned as he was moved. Scott cradled Gordon against his chest, their heads almost touching. "Is that better?" He asked.

"Some…" Gordon answered in a whispery voice. "It hurts Scott."

"I know Gordy, but Virgil will be here soon. You have to hang on." Scott said trying to encourage his brother.

"I don't…think…I can." Gordon said as his eyes began to drift close.

"No, don't close your eyes." Scott ordered. "You can do it. I know you can. Keep talking to me."

"Cold…" Gordon mumbled.

"Once Virgil gets here, we'll get you back to Thunderbird 2 and we'll crank up the heat. How does that sound?" Scott said trying to sound like he was teasing.

"Tell…I love…them." Gordon said as his voice grew weaker.

"Hey, don't talk like that. You can tell everybody yourself." Scott said as fear invaded his voice.

Gordon tried to keep his eyes open, but he just couldn't. He could feel his breath getting shallower. With one final effort, he whispered. "Sorry…Sco…"

Scott felt as well as heard Gordon's final breath leave him. He began pleading as tears began to slowly escape his eyes. "Gordon? Please open your eyes. Stay with me. Come on."

He felt again for the pulse but could not find one. He pulled Gordon's body closer to him as the tears began to fall harder. "Please Gordy, you can't die. Say something, please. Open your eyes. Gordy, please."


	2. Informing the Family

_"Until the day of his death, no man can be sure of his courage." – Jean Anouilh_

_"They never fail who die in a great cause." – Lord Byron_

Chapter 2: Informing the Family

When Virgil reached mobile control, he found Scott holding Gordon close begging him to respond to him. "Scott?" He questioned his older brother.

Scott looked at Virgil with a few tears still falling from his eyes. "Oh God, Virg…he's…" Scott said but couldn't continue.

Virgil was horrified by the look of utter despair on Scott's face. He could only think of one thing that would cause his brother to break down on a rescue. "Oh God, please no." He whispered as he reached for Gordon's wrist praying to find a pulse. When he couldn't find one there, he moved his fingers to Gordon's neck. He couldn't find one there either. Virgil felt the tears build in his own eyes. "Scott, what happened?" He asked hoarsely.

"It was Mitchner. He shot him." Scott whispered. "He wanted to kill me, and Gordon pushed me out of the way."

"You?" Virgil asked with confusion in his voice. "Why did he want to kill you?"

Before Scott had a chance to respond, Officer Harrison returned to the scene. "How is he? Do you need the paramedics?"

Scott looked at Harrison. Even though the tears had stopped, his eyes were red and puffy. His face showed his deep sorrow. "No, we are going to take him back to our base."

"Are you sure? He looks like he is in really bad shape." Officer Harrison's voice dropped off as he realized the implication of his own statement. "I'm sorry. Is he…?" He didn't finish the question.

"What about Mitchner?" Virgil asked angrily.

"He's dead." Officer Harrison replied. "Look, I'm sorry but I can't let you take your colleague. Procedure says that I have to call the coroner. We have to notify his family."

"Screw procedures." Scott growled, getting to his feet with Gordon in his arms. "We are taking him back home. We will deal with our local coroner's office, and we will notify the family. Even in death we have to keep our identities secret. It has to be this way."

Officer Harrison could hear the determination in Scott's voice. He nodded his head. "Ok, but if anyone asks, I didn't know his condition. I just thought you were taking him for medical treatment. Got it?"

Scott nodded. "Virg, break down mobile control while I get Gordon settled in Thunderbird 2."

"Shouldn't we alert base?" Virgil asked, though he desperately hoped that Scott would pull himself together to do that because he certainly did not want to have to break the news to their father.

"I'll handle that once we are airborne." Scott replied as he turned and headed towards Thunderbird 2.

Virgil nodded and turned to begin to dismantle the unit. He saw that the first section had been disconnected. He thought, "Gordon must have been working on this when Mitchner shot him. Scott never did explain why Mitchner wanted him dead. I'll have to ask him again." His thoughts were interrupted by the police officer.

"Your commander seems to be taking this awfully hard." Officer Harrison told Virgil. "He acted like he's family."

"He is family." Virgil said distractedly.

"What?" The officer asked.

Virgil scrambled to explain the slip of his tongue. "What I mean is that we have become like family. We have trained and worked closely together for over three years. When you learn to rely on a person for your life, well…Isn't there officers on the force that you feel that close to?"

"Yes, of course, I should have realized." Harrison said.

"Now if you will excuse me," Virgil said. "I need to finish this so that we can take our colleague for 'medical treatment'."

"Yes, of course, and again I'm sorry about how things have turned out." Officer Harrison replied as he turned and walked away.

Virgil finished breaking down mobile control and headed to Thunderbird 1 to put it away. As he passed the nearby storage shed, he was unaware of the reporter who hid in the shadow, furiously writing in his notebook. To the reporter, what had started out as a story about a fire on a day plagued by fires had just turned into the story of the century.  
Virgil entered Thunderbird 2 and headed straight to the medical bay. He found Scott sitting on the floor with his back against the wall with his arms encircling Gordon's body.

"Scott?" Virgil questioned his older brother, concern resonating in his words.

Scott looked up at Virgil. "I can't let him go, Virg. I just can't."

Virgil gently placed his hands over Scott's hands that were clasped together. "I know it's hard, but you have to. We need to take him home. You need to do it for Gordon."

Scott looked down into his dead brother's face. "Oh Gordy, why?" He whispered.

"Come on Scott." Virgil said quietly as he gently pulled Scott's hands apart. "Let me take him." He felt Scott start to resist. "I'll be gentle. I promise."

Scott reluctantly let go of Gordon. He rested his face in his hands. He drew in long deep breaths and exhaled them slowly. He had to bring himself under control. He was needed. Things had to be done. People needed to be told. Scott silently stood up and walked over to the bed. Virgil was securing the safety straps. Scott noticed that the sheet covering Gordon only went to his shoulders.

As if reading Scott's mind, Virgil said. "I couldn't cover his face. That would be too final. I'm not ready for that."

Scott nodded his head. "I understand. I just can't believe this is happening. I keep hoping that I will wake up and find that this is just an awful dream."

Virgil looked Scott over. Even though Scott seemed more in control, he was still concerned about him. "Are you ok to fly? You could lock down Thunderbird 1 and we can get her later."

"I'm ok." Scott said. "Besides leaving a 'bird here would raise unwanted questions. How about you? Can you fly?"

Virgil nodded. "Yeah, although I'll probably leave her on automatic pilot for most of the way."

Scott looked Virgil in the eyes. "I need you to be completely honest with me. Will you be ok if I fly ahead? I think that I should tell dad about this in person, and I would like to do it before you get back with the body. But if you think that you will need me, I will fly escort for you."

Virgil shook his head. "No, I will be fine. You're right. The family needs to be told as soon as possible. I don't envy your position right now."

Scott clasped Virgil's shoulder and gave it an encouraging squeeze. "All right, let's get going. I just want out of this hell."  
At top speed, it took Scott less than twenty minutes to reach the island. He spent that time thinking about how things had gone so horribly wrong. Why was Mitchner so paranoid? Why didn't he realize what a danger Mitchner was? Why didn't he send Gordon back to Thunderbird 2 immediately? Why did their father even send him on the rescue?

The approach signal broke into his thoughts. Procedure dictated that he call in for clearance, but this time he decided to ignore procedure. He wasn't ready to face his family yet. He didn't know if he would ever be ready. He checked his radar and when he saw it was clear, he activated the pool remote and slid Thunderbird 1 back into her silo.

Jeff sat alone in the lounge doing some paperwork for Tracy Enterprises. Alan and Tin-Tin had taken advantage of this "quiet time" and had gone to the beach. Jeff heard the rumbles of Thunderbird 1's engines as she returned home. Jeff frowned. Scott had not called in for clearance. It was unlike Scott to ignore procedures. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the wall rotate and Scott appeared. He began to lecture his son. Disregarding procedures could be dangerous, and he was going to nip it in the bud.

"Would you care to explain to me why you ignored standard landing proc…" The lecture died on his lips when he turned and took a good look at his son.

The disheveled appearance, the filthy uniform, and most of all the look on Scott's face all indicated to Jeff that something horrible had happened since the last radio contact, indicating a successful rescue.

"My God, Scott, what happened? Is that blood on your uniform? Is it yours? Are you hurt?" Jeff questioned.

Scott had intended to break the news gently to his father. He really had. But somehow standing in front of him listening to his father inquire about his health, something snapped inside him. The feelings of sadness and despair suddenly turned into anger. "Yes Father, it is blood, but it's not mine. I wasn't injured." Scott said in a very sarcastic tone. "This is GORDON'S blood."

Jeff was about to take Scott to task about his tone but was stopped short at Scott's last statement. He understood Scott's protectiveness over his brothers. He began to ask a string of questions. "Gordon's blood? What happened? Why wasn't I notified of an injury? Is he alright? Do I need to call Brains? Or maybe Dr. Dewitt?"

Scott shook his head and in the same belligerent tone began to answer the questions. "You want to know what happened. Well here's the nice condensed version. After being rescued that paranoid son of a…accused Gordon of spying. When the cop wouldn't arrest Gordon, he accused me of paying off the cops. He came back a few minutes later with a gun. He shot Gordon. I didn't even see him and the gun until I heard the shot. I held Gordon and tried to keep him awake, but he couldn't keep his eyes open. No, you don't need to call anybody because he died in my arms while I waited for Virgil to bring the emergency kit."

Jeff's face blanched. "Died?" He gripped the edge of his desk. "You're saying that Gordon is…"

"Dead." Scott broke in, anger resonating in every word. "That's right, Dad. He's dead and it's your fault. He shouldn't have been out there. We could've handled it just Virgil and me. We did in the past. You sent him out there even though you knew what a psychotic Mitchner was. I know why you did. He was bored and distracting to you, so you sent him out. You should never have done that. Tell me, which is better: a bored Gordon, or a DEAD Gordon? Well now you don't have a choice. It was made for you."

Scott's emotions were flooding him. He knew that he was yelling at his father, but he wasn't sure if he was making any sense. He knew it was irrational to blame his father, but he did. He had this intense feeling of anger toward his father. He forced himself to stop yelling.

He took a deep breath and continued. "Virgil will be back soon. I need to help him with Gordon." With that he stormed from the lounge and headed to Thunderbird 2's hanger.

Jeff sat in his chair in stunned silence. "How did this happen?" He thought. The rescue was over. His sons should have been safe. His eyes were drawn to the painting of his red-haired son. It couldn't be. His fun-loving, joke playing son couldn't be dead. Just hours ago he was laughing and joking with his brothers. Now they would never hear that laugh again. Jeff sat at his desk staring at the picture of Gordon lost in his thoughts. He unconsciously brushed away the few tears that escaped his eyes.  
Scott was making his way towards Thunderbird 2's hanger when he happened to run into Alan and Tin-Tin who had just returned from the beach.

Alan took in Scott's disheveled appearance. Jokingly he said. "Geez, Scott, you look like hell. That must have been a killer rescue."

Scott exploded. He grabbed Alan by the shirt front and slammed him against the wall. "Damn you Alan! Just shut the hell up!"

"Scott!" Tin-Tin said in a startled gasp. Normally Scott did not react with such anger to Alan's smart alec comments.

"Hey, I was just joking." Alan said trying to remove Scott's hands from his shirt. "I'm sorry if I upset you. What's made you so touchy?"

Scott suddenly felt ashamed at how he reacted. Alan didn't even know about Gordon. He pulled Alan into a hug. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be taking this out on you."

Alan pulled back from his brother. He could see the despair in Scott's eyes. "Hey, I'm serious. Something has really upset you. What happened?"

Scott opened his mouth to explain but was overcome by his emotions. His throat closed off and he could feel his tears building again. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. "I…um…" Scott struggled to find the words. How do you tell a person that his closest brother is dead? Finally he gave up. "You better go talk to dad. I have to help Virgil." He said and then abruptly walked away.

"Scott? What…Hey Scott?" Alan called after his brother, but Scott refused to acknowledge him as he disappeared down the hall. Alan looked at Tin-Tin with confusion written all over his face. "Well, I guess we go talk to my dad, but I can tell you this. Whatever has happened is BIG to have Scott this upset."

Tin-Tin took his hand. "Well, we might as well go find out." She said as they headed down the hall together.  
Jeff looked up when Alan and Tin-Tin entered the lounge. Before Alan could say anything, Jeff said. "Oh Alan, there you are. I want you to go get John from Thunderbird 5. Um…Tin-Tin can go with you."

Alan was even more confused. "You want me to 'get' John? Am I supposed to relieve him?"

"No, I need you all to come home." Jeff said. "I'll tell John to have everything on auto by the time you get there."

Alan was getting worried. Between his dad and Scott, things weren't adding up. "Dad, what's going on? We ran into Scott in the hall and he was really upset. Did something bad happen on the rescue?"

Jeff sighed. "Yes, something did happen, but I would like to deal with this as a family. Besides, I won't have all the facts until Thunderbird 2 gets back."

"But you can at least give me an idea." Alan argued.

Jeff rubbed his temples trying to fight off the building headache. "Please don't argue with me about this, Alan. Just go get your brother. I need you to do this for me."

Alan's anxiety level was rising. Whatever was wrong was big, huge. He got the feeling that life as he knew it was about to change forever. "F-A-B" He said as he and Tin-Tin sat on the couch readying to board Thunderbird 3.

Jeff felt the slight rumble that went through the villa as Thunderbird 3 took off. He knew that he had a couple of hours before Alan, Tin-Tin and John returned, but how was he going to tell them? His thoughts were interrupted by an incoming call.

The eyes on Virgil's portrait were blinking indicating who was calling. Jeff keyed the comm. "Go ahead, Thunderbird 2."

Virgil's picture changed to the live feed from Thunderbird 2. Jeff's heart broke at the sight of his middle child. He could see the stress lines creasing Virgil's forehead. Virgil's eyes were red-rimmed, and his lips were quivering slightly. "Dad, I'm about 12.7 minutes out." He hesitated for a moment. "Are…has…do…did Scott…inform you of…"

Jeff could see that Virgil was battling his emotions. "Yes son, Scott has told me about Gordon. He only gave me the basic points. I will still need a complete debriefing, but that can wait. I'm sorry that this has happened."

Virgil nodded his head. "I'm going to need some help when I land."

"Scott's planning on meeting you," Jeff replied. "I'll take care of the rest."

"F-A-B. Thunderbird 2 out." Virgil said as he cut the link.

Jeff pushed a few buttons and opened the link to Brains' lab. "Brains, can you come to the lounge?"

Brains' face appeared on the screen. "I c-c-can, but if this is about G-G-Gordon, Scott has al-al-already informed me."

"Is Scott with you right now?" Jeff asked.

"No, he w-w-went to Thunderbird 2's hanger to wait for V-Virgil to return." Brains replied. "He asked me to m-m-meet them with a st-stretcher."

"Ok Brains," Jeff said. "Virgil just called in. He'll be landing in a few minutes. So you should probably head to the hanger. I will meet you there, but first I have to call John. I've sent Alan to get him. I need to let him know so that he can put Thunderbird 5 on auto."

"D-D-Does Alan know?" Brains asked.

Jeff shook his head. "He knows that something happened on the rescue, but he doesn't know what it is. I want both him and John to be back on the island before I tell them."

Brains nodded his head. "I un-understand. I will m-m-meet Thunderbird 2 and t-t-take care of Gordon."

Jeff nodded while he felt his tears build. "Thank you Brains. You don't know what this means to me. I'll meet up with you shortly." He disconnected the comm.

"Did Gordon get hurt on the rescue?" Jeff heard his mother's voice ask.

Jeff's head shot up. "Mother! You're here. How long have you been here?"

Effie "Grandma" Tracy was startled by her son's reaction. "I came to see what kind of rescue Thunderbird 3 was called to. When I came in, Brains was saying something about 'taking care of Gordon'. What happened, Jeff? You look horrible."

Jeff moved away from his desk. He took his mother's hands gently in his own. "Let's sit down, Mother. I need to tell you something."

"Why of course Jeff," She said as they sat down, side by side, on the sofa. "My, this sounds serious."

"It is serious, Mother." Jeff began to explain. "Thunderbird 3 isn't out on a rescue. I sent Alan to get John. Something happened on the rescue, and I want the whole family home."

Effie could tell that something had really upset her son. "Jeff? Sweetheart? Tell me what's wrong. Let me help you."

Jeff stared into his hands. He couldn't stop the few tears that managed to escape his eyes. "Oh God, this is so hard. I knew that this was a possibility, but I never thought that it would happen like this."

Things were starting to come together in Effie's mind, but she needed to hear the words. "Jeff, what happened to Gordon?"

Jeff took a deep breath. "Gordon was…killed…shot actually…murdered."

"Murdered?" Effie gasped. She had expected to hear that he had been killed. But murdered? That fell into a whole different category. "Who? Why? Oh, my poor Gordon." Tears began to fall from her eyes.

Jeff pulled his mother into an embrace. "I'm sorry Mother. I don't have all the details. Scott was really upset and wouldn't discuss it. He blames me."

"You?" Effie questioned, pushing out of the embrace. "Why would he blame you?"

Jeff cleared his throat. "Because Gordon wasn't really needed on the rescue. He was bored, so I let him go. He's right. I know how dangerous this job is. I should have never let him go. I should have protected him."

"Stop that right now." Effie told her son. "You had no way of knowing that this would happen. Your boys know that their jobs are dangerous, but they love their work anyhow. I'm sure that Gordon was excited to go out on that rescue. You can't blame yourself. The only person responsible is whoever shot Gordon." Her voice started out strong, but when she mentioned Gordon, her voice broke again.

"Mr. Tracy?" Kyrano's voice broke in.

Jeff turned toward the voice. Kyrano stood respectfully at the open door. "Yes, Kyrano?"

Kyrano bowed slightly. "I do not wish to interrupt, but I have felt the sadness that has befallen this house. Is there anything that I can do?"

Before Jeff had a chance to answer, the comm beeped and the eyes on John's portrait began to flash. "Could you take care of my mother? Make her a cup of tea or something?"

"I'm ok, Jeff." Effie replied.

Jeff cut her off. "Please go with Kyrano, Mother. I would like to be alone to talk to John."

His mother nodded and Kyrano gently guided her from the room. Jeff returned to his desk. He ran a hand over his head to smooth his hair. He took a deep breath in an effort to compose himself. He reached over and keyed the comm unit. John's portrait was replaced by the live feed.

"Dad! Finally!" John exclaimed.

"John, I was just about to call you." Jeff broke in wondering if John had already found out that Alan was on his way there.

John broke in. "Dad, I was listening to the news report of the earlier rescue. The reporter claimed that an International Rescue operative was shot and killed at the rescue site."

"Damn, how'd they find out?" Jeff said without thinking.

John's face blanched. "Then it's true?"

Jeff realized that he had slipped. "I'm sorry, John. I wasn't going to tell you this way. Alan and Tin-Tin are on their way to get you, so you need to put the station on automatic."

"Dad, who…" John was so overcome with emotions that he couldn't finish the question.

"Gordon. It was Gordon." Jeff said quietly.

"How did it happen? Why?" John asked.

"I'm not sure of the specifics." Jeff replied. "Scott was really upset and didn't give me much information. Hopefully Virgil can fill me in when he gets home."

John blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay. "Does Alan know?"

Jeff shook his head. "No, he knows that something happened on the rescue, but I didn't want to tell him about Gordon, not when he had to fly. I didn't even want to tell you either until you were all back home. Those two were so close; I don't know how he's going to handle this. Listen, don't say anything about Gordon, I need to be the one to tell Alan."

"Ok, Dad." John whispered. "I can't believe this is happening. Not Gordon. He was so full of life. This can't be real." John finally lost the battle with his tears.

Jeff's heart broke when he saw John's tears. Even though he knew that all his sons felt things deeply, John was the one who showed it more. "John, I'm so sorry. This is why I wanted to tell you in person. I wanted to be able to put my arms around you to comfort you."

John tried to brush his tears away. "I know Dad. I know." Clearing his throat, he continued. "Alan will be here soon. I need to go if I'm going to be ready."

Jeff nodded. "You're right. I need to go too. Virgil should be back. I said I would meet him. I will see you when you get back."

"F-A-B, Dad." John said as he closed the comm link. He began to set the station on automatic. Involuntarily Gordon's smiling face came to his mind. Why would someone want to kill his brother? His breath caught in his throat. He knew that he had a job to do, but he was having a hard time concentrating. The control panel in front of him swam as his eyes filled with tears. He sat in the command chair and buried his face in his hands. The sound of heart breaking sobs echoed around Thunderbird 5.  
By the time that Jeff had finished talking to John and got to the silo, Virgil had already parked and shut down Thunderbird 2. Brains and Scott had already transferred Gordon's body from the med bay bed to the stretcher. Seeing his son's lifeless body, with the blood stained uniform, made real this whole situation. His son was dead. He saw Brains placing a blanket over Gordon's body. "Wait! Please I need a minute with him." Brains nodded and backed away from the stretcher.

Jeff gently brushed Gordon's hair away from his face. Quietly he said. "I was told about this, but until this moment, it wasn't real to me. Now…oh dear God…my son, my PRECIOUS SON, you're really gone. I am SO sorry. This should never have happened. Forgive me. I love you, son. I will always love you. I'll never forget you. Oh Gordon, if I could change places…" Jeff gently placed a kiss on Gordon's forehead.

Jeff backed away and nodded to Brains. Brains moved forward and in a slow, sad movement, pulled the blanket up over Gordon's face. It was so final. Jeff couldn't stop the sob that escaped his throat.

Suddenly Virgil was standing next to him. "Dad?"

Jeff pulled Virgil into an embrace. In an anguished tone, he cried into Virgil's shoulder. "He's gone. My son is dead. Why? Oh God, why? This is all my fault. How could I have done this?"

Virgil held his father, speaking quietly to him. "It's ok, Dad. Let it out. Everyone is hurting." Virgil's voice cracked as his own tears began to fall. "We'll get through this together. It's not your fault. Don't ever think that it was your fault." The two Tracys held each other as they gave into their grief.

When Jeff was finally able to pull himself together, he realized that Scott and Brains had left with Gordon's body. Jeff took a deep breath and said. "I'm sorry that I broke down like that."

Virgil cut him off. "It's ok Dad. This is hard on everyone. We all need to be able to let it out. You're no different."

Jeff nodded. "Thank you for understanding. Alan, John and Tin-Tin should be on their way home. I need to know what happened out there. All Scott told me was that Mitchner accused Gordon of spying and then shot him."

Virgil shook his head. "I really don't know much more than that except Scott told me that Mitchner was aiming at him and Gordon pushed him out of the way."

Jeff was shocked. "Scott? Why was Mitchner after Scott?"

Virgil shrugged. "I don't know. Scott wasn't giving many details at the scene."

Jeff sighed. "Well, I need the details. Your brothers need to know what happened. Plus I need to make a press release."

"The press?" Virgil asked. "Why do we have to say anything to the press?"

"Because they already know." Jeff answered. "John's already heard it on a news report."

"Dammit." Virgil exclaimed. "A reporter must have snuck up and overheard us talking. I'm sorry Dad."

Jeff gave Virgil's shoulder a slight squeeze. "It's not your fault. You had more important things to think about. I'll handle it."


	3. Alan's Reaction

_"God's finger touched him, and he slept." – Alfred, Lord Tennyson_

_"Whom the gods love dies young." – Menander_

Chapter 3: Alan's Reaction

The flight to Thunderbird 5 had been technologically normal, which was a good thing since Alan's mind was definitely not on his flying. He stepped through the air lock and found his brother in the command center. John had been very clipped when he gave Alan permission to dock which only added to Alan's anxiety.

"John, are you ready to go?" Alan asked.

"Uhm… give me another five minutes." John replied.

Alan heard a hitch in John's voice and noticed that John seemed to be avoiding eye contact with him. "You know something. Don't you?" Alan said.

"Like what?" John countered while continuing to flip switches.

"Like what happened on the rescue." Alan began. "Like why dad wants us all on the island. Like why I'm purposely being kept in the dark. Come on. Tell me what's going on."

John sighed and met Alan eye to eye for the first time. He began to explain. "Look, I heard a few remarks over the air waves. I talked to dad, but he could not confirm anything until Thunderbird 2 got home. So let's just go so we can get home."

John moved toward the air lock, but Alan blocked his way. "That's not good enough." Alan said angrily. "You know more than you're saying. I can see it in your face. You could at least give me an idea of what is going on."

John paused to carefully choose his words. "Look Alan. Dad wanted to check his facts and then he wants to talk to both of us face to face. That's why I'm going home."

Alan exploded. "That's bullshit! You know that dad wouldn't be calling you home if he wasn't reasonably sure that things were bad. I'm not a child anymore, John. I don't need my daddy to hold my hand when he breaks bad news to me. Just tell me!"

"I can't!" John said trying to keep his own anger in check. "Dad asked me not to say anything. He wants to be able to tell you himself. Actually he wanted to tell both of us, but I just happened to find out by accident. Now let's get going."

"Oh, that's right," Alan continued his angry tirade. "When you don't want to tell me something, you just start giving orders. You all do it. You just expect 'Baby Alan' to follow blindly. Well not this time, John. I want to know what is going on and I want to know NOW!"

John's anger finally exploded. "I already told you that I couldn't tell you anything! Now if you don't get yourself on Thunderbird 3 right this instance, I will hog-tie you and drag your sorry butt on board. It's your choice baby brother." The look on John's face plainly showed that he would brook no further arguments from Alan.

Alan stared defiantly at John for a moment before he backed down. "Screw you John." He said as he headed toward the air lock.

John hesitated for a moment. He could fully understand Alan's frustration. It didn't seem fair that everyone else knew, but he could also understand his father's desire to break the news to him. He knew that their father wanted to break it as gently as possible and be there to support him. John knew how he felt when he heard some stranger announce on the news that one of his brothers was dead. John sighed and headed through the air lock.

As John entered Thunderbird 3, he stopped short when he spotted Alan on the couch in the passenger compartment staring at the wall with anger still written all over his face. "Don't you want to fly?" He asked his brother.

Alan continued to stare at the wall but in a very sarcastic tone answered. "Oh no, John. I'm just 'the baby'. I can't be trusted with something as important as flying a Thunderbird."

Even though he understood Alan's frustration, John was getting tired of being Alan's whipping boy. "Fine. Have it your way. Strap yourself in. We'll be un-docking in about five minutes." He continued on into the cockpit where he found Tin-Tin.

Tin-Tin glanced at John and then behind him. She got a confused look on her face. "Where's Alan?"

"He is in the back." John answered. "He's mad."

Tin-Tin gave John an appraising look. She could tell there was definitely more behind that short sentence. "Should I go talk to him?"

John flipped some switches as he began the pre-flight procedures. "Let's take off and then you can go keep him company."

A few minutes later Thunderbird 3 was on her way back to earth. Tin-Tin headed back to the passenger compartment leaving John alone with his sad thoughts.  
Tin-Tin joined Alan on the couch. "Alan, what happened between you and John?" She asked.

Alan looked at Tin-Tin. His eyes softened as he drank in her beauty. He reached over and took her hand. "It's simple really. John knows what is going on, but he won't tell me."

"Did he give you a reason why he wouldn't tell you?" She continued.

Alan sighed. "He told me that dad wanted to talk to me after he double checks the validity of the reports that have surfaced."

"And why does that bother you?" She pressed. "They just want to make sure that they have all their facts before upsetting you."

"But by not telling me anything, my mind is just running wild with different scenarios." Alan explained. "After seeing the way that Scott, Dad and now John are acting, one scenario keeps pushing to the front of my mind. I don't even want to think about that possibility."

Tin-Tin gave Alan's hand a squeeze. "Well, we'll be home shortly. Virgil and Gordon should be back by then and we will find out what's going on."

Alan put an arm around Tin-Tin and pulled her to him. "Thanks for being here Tin-Tin. I just hope that my fears are unfounded."

"I do too." Tin-Tin thought, but she didn't voice her own concerns.  
Virgil found his brother in Thunderbird 1's silo, leaning against the wall looking at Thunderbird 1, but not really seeing her. They all had their special spots to go to when they were upset. Virgil's thoughts ran to how different they were. Scott came to see his 'bird. Alan went to the bluffs. He played the piano or went to his art studio. John stared at the stars or read books about stars. Gordon swam…Well he did before…

Virgil blinked back his tears, instead turning his attention to his oldest brother. "Hey Scott," He said.

Scott just gave Virgil a small nod of acknowledgement.

Virgil leaned against the wall next to Scott. "Are you going to be all right?"

"I don't know." Scott answered. "Maybe, but at this point in time, I don't see how."

"Dad wants to debrief before Alan and John get home." Virgil said.

Scott brushed his hand over his face. "I can't. I can't talk to dad. I know it doesn't make any sense, but I have this intense anger towards him. I can't explain it. I guess maybe my sub-conscious needs to blame someone and it chose him. I know it's not rational, but until I can bring myself under control, I think it's just better if I stay away."

"Then tell me what happened." Virgil said. "At least enough so I can explain to John and Alan. They deserve to know."

Scott nodded. "You're right. They deserve to know." In a quiet voice Scott began to explain what had occurred with Mitchner.  
Jeff sat at his desk staring silently at his hands. John had called in a few minutes before to let him know that they were about twenty minutes out. He had called Virgil and asked that he and Scott meet him in the lounge. He was startled when the eyes on Lady Penelope's portrait began to flash. He keyed the vid-link and Penny's beautiful face appeared.

"Jeff, darling, Parker says that we are on final approach. Requesting landing clearance." Penny said.

Jeff was confused. "Final approach? To the island?"

"Yes Jeff." Penny said. She was concerned by the worn look on Jeff's face. "We have a business meeting scheduled with Shawn Douglass on Friday. I came a few days early so that we can go over the proposition before the meeting."

Jeff nodded. "I'm sorry. It slipped my mind. Go ahead and land, and then come to the lounge. We've had an…incident. I need to explain it to everyone."

A few minutes later Virgil walked into the lounge.

"Where's Scott?" Jeff asked when he realized that Virgil was alone.

"He went for a walk on the beach." Virgil replied.

"Did you talk to him? Did you tell him that I needed the details to give John and Alan?" Jeff pressed.

"Yes, I did talk to him." Virgil began to explain. "He explained some of his feelings to me, and I agree with his decision to distance himself for a while."

"But we need to deal with this together…as a family." Jeff interrupted.

"I'll keep an eye on him. I won't let him isolate himself for too long." Virgil countered. "Right now, you'll need to trust us that this is the right decision."

"But what am I going to tell John and Alan?" Jeff asked.

Virgil sighed. "Scott gave me the facts. I can tell them. I can't think of any questions that I can't answer, but if they come up with any we can check with Scott later."

"You shouldn't have to tell them. Tell me and I'll do it." Jeff said.

Virgil shook his head. "No, I think it would be harder if I had to listen to you repeat the story. It was hard enough to listen to Scott tell me. I'd rather do the telling."

"Are you sure?" Jeff questioned. "I feel like I'm putting you in a bad position. After all, this is my doing."

"No, it's not." Virgil argued. "I told you that before. Now I want you to really pay attention. We all knew the dangers when we joined International Rescue. You didn't force any of us to join against our will. The only, and I mean only person responsible is Mitchner. He's the one who pulled the trigger."

Before either Jeff or Virgil could say anymore, Penny walked into the lounge. She took in both Jeff's and Virgil's despondent looks. "Jeff dear, you look dreadful. What has happened? Did one of the boys get injured?"

Just then the eyes of John's portrait lit up. Jeff keyed the vid-link, and John's face appeared. "We are on final approach, Dad." John said. "Requesting permission to land."

"Permission granted." Jeff replied. "And John, forget about the post-flight checks. We'll do that later. I want you three to come directly to the lounge."

"F-A-B, we'll see you in a few minutes." John said as he disconnected the link.

Lady Penelope's concern was growing. Whatever had happened must be really bad for Jeff to depart from standard procedures regarding the Thunderbirds. "Jeff?" She questioned.

Jeff looked at her, but turned away quickly. "I would like to wait until the rest of them get here. I only want to do this once."

Penny nodded. She swore that she had seen tears in Jeff's eyes before he turned away. She settled herself in one of the chairs. The vacant couch disappeared and she knew that it would be replaced momentarily with the group from Thunderbird 3. She watched the two Tracys that were in the lounge. Virgil stood at the windows looking out over the ocean, seemingly ignoring everyone in the room. Jeff sat at his desk holding his head in his hands. The couch re-appeared with John, Alan and Tin-Tin on it. She began to wonder about the other island occupants. Kyrano was probably in the kitchen or in his garden. Brains was probably in his lab. That left Scott, Gordon and Grandma missing. "Oh dear God," She silently prayed. "Please don't let it be that something happened to Grandma."

When the couch finally came to a stop, Alan jumped up and began angrily. "Ok, John's home. I'm home. Now will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Alan, please sit down." Jeff said. "We need to discuss something that happened on the last rescue. Something that affects this family directly."

Tin-Tin stood up from the couch. "I should go find my father."

Jeff held up his hand to stop her. "No, Tin-Tin, please stay. You're family too, you too Penny."

Tin-tin and Penny both nodded their heads. Alan however sat back down in a huff. "Let's get this over with. What happened? Did our covers get blown? Where are Scott and Gordon?"

Jeff held up a hand to silence his youngest son. "Alan please, just let us explain. You were here when we talked about Mitchner being paranoid, right?"

Alan nodded his head silently.

Jeff continued. "Well apparently he has grown worse over the years. He…" Jeff stopped and cleared his throat and tried again. "After Mitchner and three other people were rescued, he…he…" Again he stopped as his throat seemed to close off.

Virgil took over the story at this point. "Mitchner accused Gordon of stealing some classified files."

"Steal? Gordon? That's outrageous!" Alan fumed.

Virgil sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You know that, and I know that, but Mitchner was adamant. By the time we got back to the surface with the mole, Scott had arranged for a meeting with a police officer, Mitchner, Gordon and himself. They met at mobile control while I took care of the other passengers. According to what Scott told me, Mitchner was insistent that Gordon be arrested for stealing the files."

Alan abruptly stood up. "Arrested! Gordon was arrested? We have to help him!" Turning toward his dad, he continued his rant. "Did you call your attorney? How are we going to keep his identity a secret? Why are you just sitting here? Let's get going. Gordon needs us."

"Alan, sit down." Jeff ordered. "Gordon was not arrested."

"Not arrested?" Alan said. He knew things were going to get worse, but he tried to push those thoughts from his mind.

Virgil picked up the story again. "No, he wasn't arrested. The police officer said that there was no proof that a crime was even committed let alone that Gordon committed it. Scott said that Mitchner went nuts. He accused Scott of buying off the cop."

"Scott said?" Alan interrupted. "Where is Scott? Why isn't he here telling the story?"

"He needed some time to himself." Virgil replied. "Please let me finish."

Alan got sarcastic again. "Forgive me. I didn't know that it was a sin to ask questions. Do continue Virgil."

"Alan," Jeff gave that one word of admonishment. He gestured to Virgil to continue.

Virgil nodded and continued the story. "Anyways, Mitchner left complaining and making threats, but Scott figured that he was just blowing hot air. He was finishing things with the cop and Gordon was breaking down mobile control when Mitchner returned with a gun."

Alan couldn't help himself. "A gun? Please don't tell me…" Alan knew that Scott was physically alright because he saw him earlier, but he hadn't seen Gordon. His fears forced their way to the surface. "Dad, where's Gordon?" He could see his father and brothers fighting their emotions. Quietly he said. "Please, I need to know."

Jeff couldn't meet his son's eyes. "He's…He's down in the infirmary." Jeff said.

"It's bad. Isn't it?" Alan asked, still not wanting to face the one fear that kept yelling in his mind.

This time all Jeff could do was nod his head. Alan looked toward John for confirmation. He saw John brush some tears from his face. "I have to go to him. He needs to know that I'm there for him."

"No Alan, you need to let me finish." Virgil said.

Alan gave Virgil a small nod even though he was dreading the words that he knew were coming.

Virgil took a deep breath and tried to steady his voice. "Scott said he didn't even realize that Mitchner had returned. Apparently Gordon saw him and shouted out a warning and pushed Scott out of the way." Virgil's voice cracked and tears started to escape his eyes. "Gordon was hit. Scott called me for help, but…" Virgil clenched and unclenched his fists. "I'm sorry, Alan. By the time I got there Gordon was already gone."

"Gone?" Alan whispered. "You mean that he's…"

"Gordon's dead." This time it was Jeff's tear filled voice that answered him. "I'm so sorry, Alan. I know how close you two were."

Alan's eyes narrowed. "You knew all this when Scott got back, but you didn't tell me? Instead you sent me on an errand."

"Not exactly," Jeff tried to explain. "I only knew that Gordon had been killed, but Scott was so upset that he has refused to talk to me. As a matter of fact, this is the first time that I'm hearing the details."

Alan ignored his dad and swung around to face John. "And you… you knew about it too, but you didn't say anything."

Tears flowed freely down John's face. "I'm sorry, Alan. I couldn't say anything."

Jeff interrupted. "Don't blame John. I asked him not to say anything."

Alan swung back and continued his tirade. "And we all follow your orders blindly, right? Can you imagine how I'm feeling right now? My brother, my closest brother, was killed over three hours ago, and nobody told me. But after all, it's just Alan, the baby. He's always the last to be told. To hell with his feelings."

Jeff tried to placate his young son. "I'm sorry Alan. I never meant for you to feel this way. I didn't mean to shut you out. I needed to get the details. Plus I intended to tell you and John at the same time, but he happened to hear a news report about it."

"A news report?" Alan asked incredulously. "So the whole world knew it before me? How did a reporter find out anyhow?"

"We don't know." Jeff said. "But somehow one found out."

Suddenly the fight seemed to leave Alan. He asked again. "Where's Gordon? I need to see him. Please."

"He's in the infirmary." Jeff said. "Brains has taken care of the body while I make the final arrangements."

Without another word, Alan left the lounge.

Virgil was the first to speak. "I'm worried about him. Do you think that he will be ok?"

Jeff sighed. "I hope so, but it will take time. Even though he is angry with us right now, we need to be there for him. This is going to be hard on all of us. We need to be there for each other. I'm not sure what else to say at this moment. You can go, but remember, anytime you want to talk, my door is always open."

Slowly the group left the room, each heading off to their quiet place of solitude.  
In the sickroom, Alan sat next to his brother's body. Even seeing Gordon with his own eyes didn't make it real to him. "It's a dream." He thought. "It has to be a horrible, terrifying dream. I'll wake up and everything will be normal. Gordon will be in the pool doing laps or hiding out after pulling a prank." As quickly as the thought ran through his mind, he knew that he was deceiving himself. A part of him wanted to take Gordon's hand to try to draw some small form of comfort from it, but another part knew that he would get no comfort from his brother's cold, stiff, dead body.

"Oh Gordy," Alan finally spoke out loud. "How did this happen? It was so senseless. The rescue was over. Your job was done. You should have been safe." As Alan talked his voice took on a tone of anger. He moved to stand next to the bed. He stared at his brother's deceptively peaceful face. "Why? Why did you take the bullet for Scott? You're not superman Gordon. The bullets won't bounce off. How could you have been so careless?"

"You would have done the same thing, Alan." Tin-Tin's quiet voice came from the direction of the doorway.

Alan turned toward the voice. "Tin-Tin, what are you doing here?"

"I came to check on you." She replied. "Your family is worried about you. They know that this is extremely hard on you considering how close you and Gordon always were."

"Oh yeah, they sure know how to show their concern." Alan said sarcastically.

Tin-Tin gently placed her hand on Alan's shoulder. "I'm not going to try to convince you that their decisions were correct, but just remember, right or wrong, they did what they thought was best. They're not perfect, but they do love you."

Alan just gave her a snort of disgust.

"Alan, please," Tin-tin begged. "Talk to me. I want to help."

Alan took Tin-Tin's hands in his own. "I don't know what to say. This is a nightmare. I don't even know how to explain what I'm feeling. I'm angry. I'm angry at dad for sending him out. I'm angry at Scott and Virgil for not protecting him. I'm angry at John for not telling me. I'm angry at Gordon for putting himself in harm's way. I'm angry at myself for not being there for him. Maybe if I had gone along, things may have turned out differently."

"There's no way to know that." Tin-Tin interjected. "You can't beat yourself up about this. This is not your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault."

Alan nodded. "I know that my anger is irrational…but then again, maybe it's not. Isn't anger one of the 'Five Steps to Acceptance'?"

Tin-Tin nodded her head. "Yes, it is. It's step 2, right after denial. Followed by bargaining and depression, finally followed by acceptance."

Alan gave Tin-Tin a small smile. "Well, I've already done the denial and now the anger. There's no bargaining with this. It's happened. There's no changing it. So I guess all I have to work through is 'depression' and then I'll reach acceptance."

Tin-Tin moved her hand to the back of Alan's neck and gently ran her fingers through the back of his hair. "I think you're already there. Stages can overlap or get mixed up. It's not an exact science. People all react differently."

"You're right." Alan responded. "Sometimes it's like you know me better than I know myself. What'd you do? Take a course in 'Alan Psych 101'?"

Tin-Tin smiled at his attempt at levity. "No, but when you love someone like I love you, you learn how to read that person."

Alan's face sobered again and he whispered. "God, Tin-Tin, I don't know how to deal with this."

Tin-Tin saw him wipe away a few tears that had escaped his eyes. She gently brushed her hand over his cheek. "Oh Alan, go ahead and cry if you feel like it. Nobody will think badly of you, I promise."

Alan shook his head. "That's not it." He said as a few more tears fell.

"Then what is it?" Tin-Tin asked.

Alan took a deep breath and tried to explain. "I'm afraid…afraid that if I…if I allow myself to cry that I…that I won't be able to stop." More tears forced themselves from Alan's eyes.

Tin-Tin pulled Alan into an embrace. "I hate seeing you in so much pain, Alan. I wish I could change it.'

"I know.' Alan mumbled into her shoulder. "Thank you for being here for me."

As much as he fought it, more tears managed to fall. Alan felt an arm circle around his back and a cheek rest against the back of his head. He didn't have to look to know that it was Scott. He assumed that Scott's other arm was around Tin-Tin, embracing them both. Scott didn't say anything but just held them. Alan tried to reign in his tears until he realized that Scott was trembling and that the back of his head was getting damp. The realization that Scott was crying opened the floodgates of Alan's tears.

"Oh God, how are we going to go on without him?" Alan cried, his tears falling in earnest. "I miss him already."

"I know. I do too." Scott whispered hoarsely.

The three remained in their embrace providing support and comfort to each other.


	4. Memorial Service

_"It is a far, far better thing that I do than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known." – A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens_

Chapter 4: Memorial Service

The next morning Jeff, Virgil and Alan sat at the breakfast table. They each had one of the four newspapers that Jeff subscribed to. Jeff had taken the New York Times. Virgil had taken the Miami Herald. Alan had taken the Los Angeles Times. The Chicago Tribune still sat folded next to Jeff. All four of the newspapers, as well as every newspaper around the world, carried the screaming headline: **INTERNATIONAL RESCUE OPERATIVE MURDERED AFTER RESCUING CEO**." The front page article by the associated press gave a brief account of the rescue. The three women who had been trapped with Mitchner as well as the rescue workers who had worked the scene had been interviewed in order to piece together the sketchy events of the rescue. As expected, Officer Harrison disavowed any knowledge of the "operative's" death. He insisted that the last he knew the operative was taken for medical treatment by his colleagues. Also frustrating the news media was the simple three sentence press release that International Rescue had given.

**"The members of International rescue regretfully acknowledge the death of an operative on May 31, 2068 following a rescue. International Rescue will be shut down for two weeks for a period of mourning. We are withholding the operative's name out of respect for his grieving family to whom we extend our deepest sympathies."**

The article ended with a media promise to "follow-up" on this story and to report any "pertinent" information.

Jeff skimmed through the article to make sure that the press release was accurate and that Gordon's identity was still a secret. He knew that the press would be desperately searching for any leads to the "operative's" identity. He hoped that the cover story that was released to the press about Gordon's death would hold up. Jeff noticed that both Alan and Virgil had ignored the front page article and opened their papers to the obituary section. Neither said a word as they silently read their brother's carefully worded obituary. Jeff turned to the obituary section in his own paper. Tears sprang to his eyes as he saw his son's smiling face under the headline:

**OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL WINNER DIES AT AGE OF 25.**

**The world mourns the death of Gordon Cooper Tracy, born February 14, 2043, died May 30, 2068. The cause of death was traumatic blood loss as a result of a shark attack.**

**Gordon was the fourth of five sons born to former astronaut Jefferson Tracy and his wife Lucille. Growing up he enjoyed and excelled in all aquatic sports. At the age of seventeen, he won a gold medal in the butterfly stroke at the Houston Olympics making him one of the youngest gold medal swimmers.**

**After school, he trained as an aquanaut. He served in both the submarine service and the World Aquanaut Security Patrol. (WASP) A highlight of his time in WASPs was when he commanded a deep-sea bathyscaphe and spent a year beneath the ocean investigating marine farming methods. He developed a deep love of the ocean and was an accomplished oceanographer. He also designed a unique underwater breathing apparatus which greatly improved the safety factors for fellow divers.**

**Unfortunately, his promising career in WASP was cut short when he was involved in a hydrofoil speedboat crash. The craft capsized while going 400 knots and shattered. Gordon was told that he would never walk again, but after four months of fight and determined hard work, he did learn to walk again.**

**After the accident, Gordon went to work for his father at Tracy Enterprises. He has spent the last few years designing and updating safety features for various marine crafts, while at the same time indulging in his own passion for the water.**

**Gordon and his brother were diving a few miles from their father's island when they encountered a shark. True to his giving spirit, he put himself in harm's way to insure that his brother made it to safety. By the time his brother was able to get him to medical help, the blood loss was too great. He passed away quietly surrounded by his family.**

**Upon hearing of the death, WASP Commander Ronald Reece said. "It is a sad day indeed to lose such a wonderful person at such a young age. I consider myself very lucky to have served with Gordon Tracy. He was an exceptional officer and had an exciting career ahead of him in WASP. He never complained about the accident that ended that career. He was too busy fighting for what he wanted. Even though he had a fierce determination, he also was one of the most giving individuals that I have known. He always had a kind word for everyone. He had a love for life that shone through everything that he did. It was my privilege to know him, and it was a blessing to call him my friend. He will be sorely missed."**

**Gordon is survived by his father, Jefferson Tracy and four brothers: Scott Tracy, John Tracy, Virgil Tracy, and Alan Tracy. He is also survived by his grandmother, Effie Tracy. He was preceded in death by his mother, Lucille Evans Tracy and grandparents: Grant Tracy and Clarence and Adelaide Evans.**

**The body is scheduled to be cremated and a private memorial service will be held for the family and a few close friends.**

**In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in Gordon's name to the Westfield Oceanographic Research and Learning Delegation (WORLD) or to the Christopher Reeve's Spinal Cord Research Fund. These were two organizations close to Gordon's heart, and any donations made in Gordon's name will be matched by the Tracy family.**

Jeff finished reading the obituary and laid the paper aside. Everything seemed to be in order for which he was grateful. Jeff had sent the press the fabricated shark story which seemed to have been believed without hesitation. The rest of the facts were dug out of historical archives. The statement from the WASP commander had been a nice touch. Most importantly, at this point in time, no one had connected Gordon's death with the "International Rescue operative's" death. Now they could mourn in peace for Gordon.  
Five days later, Virgil was getting ready to head to the memorial service which was to be held on board the family yacht. Looking at himself in the mirror, he straightened his tie one last time and left his room. As he walked by Scott's room he heard his brother say heatedly. "I've made my decision. Now drop it."

Virgil paused and knocked on the door. An angry looking Scott opened the door. Virgil noticed that Scott was not dressed for the service. "Oh great, what the hell do you want?" Scott groused as he moved away from the door.

Virgil followed him inside the room and found that John was already there. Virgil was puzzled. He turned to Scott and asked. "You sound upset. Is there anything that I can do?"

"Yeah, you can leave and take him with you." Scott said hotly motioning toward John.

John rolled his eyes. "Scott, I…"

"Stuff if John." Scott interrupted. "You've already had you say. Now I want you to leave."

Virgil wasn't sure why Scott and John were fighting, but he knew that now was not the time for it. Whatever was going on they could sort it out after the memorial service. "Come on John; let's give Scott a few minutes to himself to get ready for the service. We'll wait for him in the hall."

John gave out a snort of disgust. "That's just it, Virg. He's not going to the memorial."

Virgil turned to Scott in shock. "What does he mean that 'you're not going'?"

Scott turned away from his brothers and looked out his window. "Just what it sounds like, I'm not going."

Virgil was sure that he was misunderstanding Scott. "You can't be serious. You have to go."

Scott whirled around to face Virgil. Angrily he demanded. "Why? It's not like my going is going to change anything. So what's the point?"

This time John answered. "The point is that you need an opportunity to say goodbye to Gordon."

Scott shook his head. "I did that as he died in my arms."

"Well, you don't seem to be dealing with it very well." John argued. "Maybe it would help being with your family."

"I don't need any help." Scott snapped at John. "I just want to be left alone."

"What about us?" Virgil asked. "What if we need you? Your support? Your strength?"

Scott shook his head and quietly said. "I can't, not this time."

John pounded his fist on the desk in anger. "Oh come off it Scott. Be honest with Virgil. Tell him the truth. Tell him that the real reason that you don't want to go to the service is that you're still blaming dad. You don't want to be around him. It's your way of punishing him."

"Is that true?" Virgil demanded.

Scott turned back to the window. "Of course it's not true. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"Then look me in the eye and tell me that." Virgil said.

Scott bowed his head but didn't turn around. "Virgil…" He began but stopped.

Virgil waited a few moments for Scott to continue, but he remained silent. "Scott?" Virgil questioned, but Scott still did not speak. As he waited, Virgil's anger began to build. "You can't do it, can you? John is right. This is about your anger at dad. You selfish, son of …"

Scott swung around with his fists clenched in anger. "How dare you! You have no idea what I've been going through!"

"So you think that you have the corner on grief here Scott?" Virgil snapped back. "We all loved Gordon, and we are all grieving him. You're not special."

"Shut the hell up and get out." Scott shouted as he moved toward his door.

Virgil stopped him by grabbing his arm. "You listen to me and listen good." He spat out in anger. "You will be coming to the memorial service even if I have to drag you there kicking and screaming. Now you have exactly ten minutes to get yourself dressed. If you don't, I will dress you myself."

"And you think that you are man enough to take me on?" Scott challenged.

Virgil shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not, but I'm sure that John will help me too."

Virgil and Scott both looked toward John who nodded at them.

"Please Scott," John said. "You need to do this. If you can't do it for yourself, or for us, then do it for Gordon. It's the last thing that you can do for him."

Scott's glare shifted between John and Virgil. Finally he yanked his arm from Virgil's grasp. "Fine, I'll be ready in ten minutes."

"Good," Virgil responded. "We'll be waiting in the hall." With that Virgil and John left Scott's room.

Exactly ten minutes later, Scott, wearing a suit and tie, exited his room.

Trying to placate his brother, John quietly said. "I know you're mad right now, but one day you will thank us."

"Whatever," Scott groused. "Let's just get this over with."  
The sun shone brightly on the solemn group aboard the Lucille as it made its way to the far side of the island. They stopped in a small inlet that was a favorite diving place of Gordon's. Reverend Powers stood up in front of the small group that included the Tracys, Kyrano and Tin-Tin, Brains, Lady Penelope and Parker, three of Gordon's friends from WASP and one friend from high school. The reverend began his funeral sermon.

_"It is a sad occasion for which we gather here today. It is always difficult to say goodbye to a loved one who has been taken in death, but when that person is young with a potentially full life ahead of him, it can seem impossible. Gordon was such a person, even in his short life, he loved life. He embraced it. Even when it seemed that life had dealt him a raw deal, he fought it. He refused to give up the life that he wanted._

_Gordon was a loving and giving person. He gave of himself when he joined WASP to help provide security to the world's oceans. He gave of himself when he helped develop marine farming techniques. He gave of himself when he worked to protect the marine life that he loved. He gave of himself when he designed safer diving equipment so that others could also enjoy the undersea world. Even his final act was a giving one. He gave himself in order to make sure that his brother was safe._

_Gordon was also a fun-loving person. I've had a chance to talk to most of you and that was one thing that you all mentioned his wonderful sense of humor. He had a contagious smile and an easy joke. He knew how to make people feel better when they were low. He enjoyed playing practical jokes although he was never intentionally mean. Gordon was a joy to be around and he will be sorely missed._

_We grieve for Gordon because of our own loss. It is our love for Gordon that causes us to feel his loss so deeply. Even though we know that Gordon has gone to a better place, a place without pain or sorrow, our grief is borne out of our loss: the loss of a brother, the loss of a friend, the loss of his smile, the loss of his humor, the loss of his love. But that loss is temporary. We do have hope: a hope in a risen Savior. Luke, in the Book of Acts, recounts Paul's defense against heresy charges. "But this I confess unto thee, that after the way which they call heresy, so worship I the God of my Fathers, believing all things which are written in the law and in the prophets: and have hope toward God, which they themselves also allow, that there shall be a resurrection of the dead, both of the just and unjust." (Acts 24:14-15) That is our hope. There will be a resurrection of the dead. It is mentioned throughout the Bible from the prophesies through the historical references to the books on church teachings. Paul mentions it again in his first letter to the church at Corinth. "So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?" (I Corinthians 15:54-55) Death is not the end. Although we grieve for Gordon now, there will be a time of joy when we are re-united with him at the resurrection. So we grieve at this time. We grieve for our temporary loss. At the same time we need to hold onto the hope of the resurrection. Let us pray._

_Our Father in heaven, we come before you in our hour of grief. We beseech you for your spirit of peace during this trying time. We thank you for the hope you have given us. Welcome your son Gordon into your glory. We thank you for the time that we had with him no matter how short it was. Make our memories of Gordon sweet and comforting. We humbly ask in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen."_

Heads were raised as the prayer ended. The reverend closed his Bible and continued speaking.

_"At this point in the service, the floor will be open for anyone who would like to share a thought or memory of Gordon. Alan has asked to go first and Jeff will speak at the end."_

Alan stood in front of the group. He cleared his throat and began to speak, studying his feet self-consciously.

_"Well…Dad asked me to speak about Gordon, so here it goes. Gordon was more than my brother. He was my best friend. Being the two youngest, we tended to band together against our older brothers. Not that we didn't fight against each other because we did. But I always knew that I could count on him to help me get back at whoever I was mad at. Gordon was full of ideas. To this day, I still don't know how he thought them up._

_He helped me a lot through high school. By that time Dad had made most of his fortune. Scott was making a name for himself as a hot shot fighter pilot. John had just been accepted to NASA. My freshman year was especially tough. The teachers expected me to be a great student like John or Virgil. The coaches expected me to be a great athlete like Scott and even to a point Gordon. Fellow students, even ones that I knew from before, either shunned me thinking that I was a spoiled rich snob, or they just wanted to be my friend because of Dad's money. Gordon helped me get through that time. He encouraged me to be myself. He was there for me when I was feeling lonely. He was right. Eventually people began to accept me for who I was._

_It scared me to death when he had the hydrofoil accident. But again he encouraged me with his staunch determination. I would have buried myself in self-pity, but not Gordon. He wanted to walk again and he did whatever he needed to do to reach that goal. I know it was hard for him. It was painful. I know that he got discouraged, but he pushed himself through. When he felt that he couldn't keep going, somehow he found the strength that he needed. I will always remember that._

_Whenever I find myself with a problem, I will remember these two main lessons that Gordon taught me. The first is to always be myself. The second is to fight even when I don't think I can. It's the least that I can do for my brother who has done so much for me. Goodbye Gordon. I love you."_

_Alan's voice cracked as tears began to fall from his eyes. He quietly moved back to stand next to Tin-Tin. She wrapped an arm around Alan to quietly give him support._

Commander Reynolds moved to the front of the group.

_"I met Gordon when we both joined WASP. One of the first things I noticed was how easy going he was. As with any military organization, the training officers treated us with contempt. We were the lowest of the low. We had to prove ourselves to them. Most cadets would get angry. I did, but I never saw Gordon get angry. He followed orders with a crisp salute and a 'yes sir'. He talked about his family a lot, but he just referred to 'Dad' or 'my brother'. Imagine my surprise at the end of boot camp when Gordon introduced me to his father, the great Jefferson Tracy. I never would have guessed. After all 'Tracy' is a pretty common name. Who would have thought someone whose dad is the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company would have joined WASP in the first place. He never bragged about his dad or the money. He earned the respect of his commanders and his colleagues by being who he was. As we rose through the ranks, we were assigned to different duty stations, but it was clear that Gordon was on the fast track to the top. Even at different posts, I heard about Gordon's exploits. When I heard about the hydrofoil accident, I thought 'If anyone can beat this, it would be Gordon', and he did._

_I was saddened to hear of his death, but I was not surprised to hear that he died saving someone else. That was Gordon through and through. The world has lost a wonderful human being but I for one am grateful for the chance to have known him."_

Reynolds nodded towards Jeff as he took his place back in the group.

Ben Caine took Reynolds place at the head of the group. He looked uncomfortable as he spoke.

_"I wasn't really planning on speaking today, but after listening to Alan, I felt I needed to say something. One of the reasons Gordon knew how to handle the jerks in high school was because he went through it, and I was one of those jerks. It didn't take long when Gordon first got to high school for the gossip mill to let everyone know who he was and more importantly, or so we thought at the time, who his father was. My first thought was 'Anyone that rich MUST be a jerk'. At that time I ran with a group who decided that it was our job to 'put Gordon in his place'. We gave him an awful time. We played tricks on him, awful, mean tricks, but he just took it in stride. Over time I grew to respect Gordon and grew ashamed of how we treated him. Finally, I got up the courage to apologize to him and asked him to be my friend. I never expected him to agree. I really figured that he would hold a grudge, but he didn't. He readily gave me his forgiveness. Over the years, we have become close friends. When we went our separate ways after school, Gordon was one of the few friends that I kept in contact with. It was a great friendship, one that I will hold more precious given these events. Well…that's all I wanted to say."_

John and Virgil both headed toward the head of the group. John motioned for Virgil to go ahead of him. Virgil cleared his throat as he stood in front of the group.

_"I can't really add to what has already been said. Gordon was a wonderful person with a great sense of humor, a fierce determination, a forgiving spirit, and a giving soul. But the most important thing to me about Gordon was that he was my brother."_

Virgil paused and brushed a tear from his eye. He opened his mouth to speak, but the words were choked off as he stifled the sob that rose in his throat. He stared out over the ocean as he fought to bring his emotions back under control.

_"I love all my brothers. I don't want people to think that I favored Gordon over the others. It's just…all my brothers are so different and my feelings for each of them are different but just as strong. We have grown up together. We have our strengths and weaknesses. We compliment each other. Now with Gordon's passing there is a huge hole in our family. I can't fill that hole and I don't want anyone to try."_

More tears fell from Virgil's eyes. This time he didn't even bother to try to wipe them away. His voice cracked as he continued.

_"It's going to take a long time for us to get through this, but we'll do it…together. It's what Gordon would have wanted."_

Virgil moved back to stand with his family. Jeff squeezed his shoulder in support. John gave Virgil a pat on the back as he headed to the front of the group. In a quiet tone, he began speaking.

_"Like Virgil said, we've heard a lot about the different qualities that Gordon had. Well there is one more quality that I would like to speak about, his human quality. It has been mentioned how things didn't seem to bother him, but they did. He was just good at hiding it. I'm not saying this to tarnish your image of Gordon. It is just another point to prove what an extraordinary person he was. Instead of reacting in anger against the person who hurt him, he would bury it for the moment. Then he would come to either dad or I to talk about it. It was his own version of therapy. I can remember plenty of late night phone calls from my little brother. Those were hard for me. When he would call me, upset, with tears in his eyes, all I would want to do is put my arms around him, but that was impossible through the vid-phone. All I could do was reassure him._

_It about killed me when he had the hydrofoil accident. I couldn't get leave for three weeks. Gordon would call me and I knew he was depressed and all I could do was talk. It seemed so inadequate to me, but later Gordon told me that it meant the world to him. He said that it wasn't the words I said, but just the fact that I was there to listen to him."_

John paused a moment looking towards the sky.

_"I just wish that I had been there for him at the end, to have been able to look him in the eyes and say goodbye. But it wasn't meant to be. This is what I have, a memorial service, saying goodbye to my brother in the wind. I love you Gordon. I know that you will be watching over us. Give mom our love."_

John moved back with his brother and was enveloped in a hug from Virgil.

Jeff waited for a few seconds to see if anyone else moved forward to speak. He expected Scott to step forward but he didn't. Scott met his father's questioning look with a hard, angry look of his own. Without a word he spun around and headed toward the aft section. With a sigh, Jeff moved to the front of the group. In his hands he held the urn that held his son's remains.

_"I want to thank you all for coming. I know it means a lot to Gordon and to us. "_

Jeff paused a moment to collect his thoughts.

_"How do you say goodbye to your son? How do you let go? I've been asking myself that question for the past five days. I still don't have the answer to that question. I lost my wife twenty-four years ago and I still mourn her everyday. Twenty-four years from now, if I am still alive, I will look back and make that same statement about Gordon. Even though I will mourn Gordon, I can't let grief paralyze me. Gordon would not have wanted that. Right now, it seems so senseless, a stupid attack. It shouldn't have happened, but it did, and we can't change it. At this point we each need to examine our lives, our relationship with Gordon, our relationship with each other. We need to decide for ourselves what is the best thing that we can learn from this tragedy. Each of us need to decide what is the best way to honor Gordon's memory. Gordon would want us to honor him by doing good. He loved people. He would want us to continue that in his memory."_

Jeff bowed his head and looked at the urn. He swallowed back the tears that tried to force their way out. He took a deep breath and continued.

_"Now we have come to the hardest part of the service, the scattering of the ashes. Gordon loved the ocean. He loved to swim and dive. This is one of his favorite spots so I decided that this would be a fitting resting place for him. Please gather around me for one final goodbye as I release the ashes."_

Jeff waited as everyone gathered around him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw John grab Scott and push him to the railing between himself and Virgil. It was understandable, but it pained Jeff to see Scott in such despair. Jeff pushed those thoughts away. He had to get through this final stage of the service. He removed the lid from the urn and slowly tipped it over. As the ashes began to fall, the wind caught them and scattered them across the water. Jeff said in a tear filled voice.

_"Rest in peace, my son. I love you. You will be forever in our hearts."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: The biographical information used in this chapter came from The Complete Book of Thunderbirds:By Chris Bentley.


	5. Forgiveness

_"Love is shown in your deed, not in your words." – Fr. Jerome Cummings_

_"He was a man, take for all in all, I shall not look upon his like again" – Hamlet, by William Shakespeare_

Chapter 5: Forgiveness

Jeff entered the dining room for lunch and found three of his sons sitting quietly at the table. It wasn't surprising to find Scott missing. He hadn't come to the family dinner table since Gordon's death over a week ago. Jeff knew that Scott was angry with him, but Jeff also noticed that Scott seemed to be angry with John and Virgil ever since the memorial service three days ago.

"Did anyone let Scott know that lunch was ready?" Jeff asked.

Alan nodded. "I told him. He just said that he would grab something later."

"This has got to stop." Jeff said more to himself than to his sons.

"What?" Alan asked.

"Scott hiding out." Jeff replied. "I know he's upset by Gordon's death, but we all are. He needs to be here for his family. We need to be there for him. Hiding out isn't helping anybody. Besides, we need to make some decisions about International Rescue."

"What kind of decisions?" John asked.

"Well the main question is: Do any of you want to quit?" Jeff said. "Losing Gordon like we did has made me re-evaluate my priorities. If any of you want to quit because of what happened, I would fully understand."

"Hell, no, Dad," Alan exclaimed. "We can't quit. Gordon wouldn't have wanted that."

"Alan's right." Virgil interrupted. "We need to carry on. People need us. We can't just abandon them."

Jeff turned and settled his gaze on John. "What do you think?"

"You don't need me to tell you that they are right." John replied. The corners of his mouth turned up as he tried to add some levity. "Besides, what else would we do? Could you imagine the stories that would appear in the tabloids about us traveling the world causing trouble as rich spoiled playboys?"

Jeff smirked. "And that would be different how? The tabloids have already branded you 'spoiled, lazy, do-nothings that just live off their daddy's money'."

Virgil joined in. "And then, in the same magazine, they will have an article about 'those heroic boys in blue who would make any parent proud.' If they only knew."

Jeff sobered. "Well, now I know how you feel, but I still need to talk to Scott. Alan, do you know where he is?"

"He was at the north beach the last time that I talked to him." Alan replied.

"Thanks, Alan." Jeff said. "I think that I will go talk to him now."  
Scott was sitting on the beach watching the waves gently lap the shore when he saw his dad heading toward him. Scott got up and headed toward the jungle hoping to avoid the inevitable confrontation.

Jeff saw Scott move and yelled in a tone of voice that brooked no arguments. "Scott! Don't you dare walk away from me!"

Even though he heard his dad's tone, Scott almost ignored him, but then he decided to get this confrontation over with. Scott turned to face his father. When Jeff got closer, Scott asked. "What do you want?"

"We need to talk. Some decisions have to be made." Jeff said.

"Couldn't it have waited until I returned to the house?" Scott demanded.

Jeff shook his head. "Even when you're in the house, you've been avoiding me. So how am I supposed to talk to you?"

Scott sat back down on the sand. "Fine! You have my attention. So talk."

Jeff sat down next to his son. "I want to talk about you and your brothers."

Scott gave a snort. "I'd rather not."

Jeff shook his head in confusion. "I know that you're upset, but avoiding your family isn't going to help. We all need the support of each other to help us through this time."

Scott's reply was laced with anger. "You know, I'm getting real tired of everyone thinking that they know how I'm feeling. You guys have no idea."

"Then tell me. I want to help you." Jeff said gently.

"Can you bring Gordon back from the dead?" Scott asked sarcastically.

Jeff shook his head. "I know that you blame me for this, but you have to believe me Scott. I never imagined that this would have happened. Sure, I knew that Mitchner was a jerk, but I swear I never thought he would be violent. I mean we still would have had to go. Three women's lives were also at stake, but I could have ordered extra precautions. You would have been prepared. Please believe me. I don't take your safety lightly."

Scott shook his head unconsciously mimicking his father. "Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, but that's not going to change what has already happened."

"You're right." Jeff acknowledged. "But it does bring to light some new security precautions that I want to implement when we resume operations."

"Resume operations!" Scott exploded. "How can you even think of resuming operations? How many sons are you willing to lose?"

"It's not just my decision." Jeff tried to reason with his son. "I've already talked to your brothers. They say that they want to continue. They want to continue for Gordon's sake. They feel that he would've wanted us to carry on."

Scott argued back. "How would they know what Gordon wanted? They weren't there. They didn't hold him in their arms as he took his last breath. Well, I was. I watched as my brother died and knew that there was nothing that I could do about it. Well, I won't do it again. I can't."

Jeff placed a hand on Scott's shoulder. "Have you talked to anybody about this? Your brothers? Grandma?"

Scott nodded. "I told Virgil what happened right after we got back. You needed to know for the debriefing."

Jeff gave a slight head nod. "I'm not talking about the sequence of events. I'm talking about your feelings. I can only imagine what you've been going through."

Scott shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it. I don't even want to think about it."

Jeff gave Scott's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "It's not good to bottle this up. Please Scott, talk to me. I want to help you."

Scott shook his father's hand off his shoulder. "I don't deserve help. It won't change anything. It won't bring Gordon back. It won't change the fact that I sat there completely helpless as my brother died in my arms. It won't change the fact that my last words that he heard from me were an order." Scott's voice began to crack. "I told him that he would be all right, but he knew better. He knew that he was dying, but I couldn't even acknowledge that. I didn't even tell him that I loved him. What kind of a selfish jerk am I? Especially since it should have…" Scott's voice drifted away as his face filled with agony.

"Since it should have been what?" Jeff asked.

Scott shook his head. "Nothing. Forget it. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter." Jeff pushed his son. "Something other than Gordon's death is tearing you apart. I can see it written all over your face. Please Scott, tell me."

Scott sighed and ran a hand over his face. "It should have been me, Dad. That bullet was meant for me. If I had handled Mitchner better, he wouldn't have been so angry. I should have sent Gordon back to Thunderbird 2. Breaking down mobile control is my job. I should have been the one doing it, not him. I know that I said it was your fault, but really it was mine. I'm the field commander. You trusted me to take care of my brothers and I blew it. I'm so sorry Dad." Scott turned away as tears began to fall.

Jeff could hear as Scott's emotions shone through his words. He put an arm around Scott's shoulder. He could feel the resistance in his son. "This wasn't your fault…"

"Yes, it was!" Scott cried as his heart broke. "He was my little brother. I should have protected him. He trusted me. I failed and now he's dead!"

Scott finally broke down completely as his grief consumed him. Jeff pulled him into a tight embrace as Scott sobbed uncontrollably into his father's chest. Jeff silently held his son as his own tears fell. Finally Scott's sobs subsided, but he still leaned heavily against his dad. Jeff knew that it was a weakness borne of emotional exhaustion.

Gently Jeff ran a hand up and down Scott's back. "Are you ok?"

That normally would sound like an odd question given the circumstances, but Scott understood what his dad meant and nodded his head.

Jeff pulled back a little bit. "Then I want you to listen to me. YOU were NOT to blame for this. Nobody knew this was going to happen. Mitchner, and he alone, was responsible for this. I know it's hard. I've been battling my own feelings of guilt. If you had done anything to change this, it could've been you who was killed, and I would be having this conversation with Gordon. I want you to know that you can talk to me at anytime. We need to rely on each other to get through this."

Scott closed his eyes and took a deep breath but didn't respond.

"Scott? Did you hear me?" Jeff questioned.

Scott sighed. "Yeah, I heard you. It's just going to take a while to convince my heart what my brain already knows."

"I understand." Jeff said.

Scott nodded. "Let me ask you a question. Why didn't you seem surprised when I 'confessed' to you?"

Jeff gave a small laugh. "We're too much alike. I know what goes through that head of yours. I also knew that you had to 'admit' it before you could start healing." Patting Scott on the shoulder, he continued. "Come on; let's head back to the house. You look like you could use some sleep. Knowing you, you haven't slept much either this past week."

Scott nodded his head. "You're right, but first I need to talk to John and Virgil."

"Are you going to tell me what happened between you three?" Jeff asked.

"Let's just say that you were not the only person that I took my 'feelings' out on." Scott replied.  
Jeff and Scott walked back to the house in relative silence. They found both Virgil and John in the lounge. John was casually reading an astronomy magazine while Virgil played a slow ballad on the piano.

"Hey guys," Scott said quietly.

Virgil stopped playing. He looked at John and they both looked between Scott and their father.

"Hey Scott," John said. "Does this mean that we're talking again?"

Scott nodded. "Yeah, look I'm sorry for how I've acted these last few days. I've been taking my feelings out on you guys. Talking with dad has helped me put things in perspective." Scott looked at the floor uncomfortably. "Look, I'm going to try to get some sleep. I'll talk to you guys later."

Virgil stood up. "I'll walk with you if you don't mind."

Scott shook his head. "I don't mind. As a matter of fact, I would enjoy the company."

Scott and Virgil left the room talking quietly together.

John looked at Jeff who had sat down at his desk. "I'm glad that you were finally able to get through to him. His guilt was eating him alive."

Jeff nodded his head. "I know. I'm glad too. Now this family can start to heal. Time, we just need time."

"Time," John said quietly. "And each other."

THE END


	6. Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an ALTERNATE ENDING to this story. The first part will be the same as Chapter 5, but the ending is different. A longer explanation can be found at the end of this chapter.

_"Love is shown in your deed, not in your words." – Fr. Jerome Cummings_

_"Hope is a waking dream" - Aristotle_

Chapter 6: Awakening

Jeff entered the dining room for lunch and found three of his sons sitting quietly at the table. It wasn't surprising to find Scott missing. He hadn't come to the family dinner table since Gordon's death over a week ago. Jeff knew that Scott was angry with him, but Jeff also noticed that Scott seemed to be angry with John and Virgil ever since the memorial service three days ago.

"Did anyone let Scott know that lunch was ready?" Jeff asked.

Alan nodded. "I told him. He just said that he would grab something later."

"This has got to stop." Jeff said more to himself than to his sons.

"What?" Alan asked.

"Scott hiding out." Jeff replied. "I know he's upset by Gordon's death, but we all are. He needs to be here for his family. We need to be there for him. Hiding out isn't helping anybody. Besides, we need to make some decisions about International Rescue."

"What kind of decisions?" John asked.

"Well the main question is: Do any of you want to quit?" Jeff said. "Losing Gordon like we did has made me re-evaluate my priorities. If any of you want to quit because of what happened, I would fully understand."

"Hell, no, Dad," Alan exclaimed. "We can't quit. Gordon wouldn't have wanted that."

"Alan's right." Virgil interrupted. "We need to carry on. People need us. We can't just abandon them."

Jeff turned and settled his gaze on John. "What do you think?"

"You don't need me to tell you that they are right." John replied. The corners of his mouth turned up as he tried to add some levity. "Besides, what else would we do? Could you imagine the stories that would appear in the tabloids about us traveling the world causing trouble as rich spoiled playboys?"

Jeff smirked. "And that would be different how? The tabloids have already branded you 'spoiled, lazy, do-nothings that just live off their daddy's money'."

Virgil joined in. "And then, in the same magazine, they will have an article about 'those heroic boys in blue who would make any parent proud.' If they only knew."

Jeff sobered. "Well, now I know how you feel, but I still need to talk to Scott. Alan, do you know where he is?"

"He was at the north beach the last time that I talked to him." Alan replied.

"Thanks, Alan." Jeff said. "I think that I will go talk to him now."

Scott was sitting on the beach watching the waves gently lap the shore when he saw his dad heading toward him. Scott got up and headed toward the jungle hoping to avoid the inevitable confrontation.

Jeff saw Scott move and yelled in a tone of voice that brooked no arguments. "Scott! Don't you dare walk away from me!"

Even though he heard his dad's tone, Scott almost ignored him, but then he decided to get this confrontation over with. Scott turned to face his father. When Jeff got closer, Scott asked. "What do you want?"

"We need to talk. Some decisions have to be made." Jeff said.

"Couldn't it have waited until I returned to the house?" Scott demanded.

Jeff shook his head. "Even when you're in the house, you've been avoiding me. So how am I supposed to talk to you?"

Scott sat back down on the sand. "Fine! You have my attention. So talk."

Jeff sat down next to his son. "I want to talk about you and your brothers."

Scott gave a snort. "I'd rather not."

Jeff shook his head in confusion. "I know that you're upset, but avoiding your family isn't going to help. We all need the support of each other to help us through this time."

Scott's reply was laced with anger. "You know, I'm getting real tired of everyone thinking that they know how I'm feeling. You guys have no idea."

"Then tell me. I want to help you." Jeff said gently.

"Can you bring Gordon back from the dead?" Scott asked sarcastically.

Jeff shook his head. "I know that you blame me for this, but you have to believe me Scott. I never imagined that this would have happened. Sure, I knew that Mitchner was a jerk, but I swear I never thought he would be violent. I mean we still would have had to go. Three women's lives were also at stake, but I could have ordered extra precautions. You would have been prepared. Please believe me. I don't take your safety lightly."

Scott shook his head unconsciously mimicking his father. "Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, but that's not going to change what has already happened."

"You're right." Jeff acknowledged. "But it does bring to light some new security precautions that I want to implement when we resume operations."

"Resume operations!" Scott exploded. "How can you even think of resuming operations? How many sons are you willing to lose?"

"It's not just my decision." Jeff tried to reason with his son. "I've already talked to your brothers. They say that they want to continue. They want to continue for Gordon's sake. They feel that he would've wanted us to carry on."

Scott argued back. "How would they know what Gordon wanted? They weren't there. They didn't hold him in their arms as he took his last breath. Well, I was. I watched as my brother died and knew that there was nothing that I could do about it. Well, I won't do it again. I can't."

Jeff placed a hand on Scott's shoulder. "Have you talked to anybody about this? Your brothers? Grandma?"

Scott nodded. "I told Virgil what happened right after we got back. You needed to know for the debriefing."

Jeff gave a slight head nod. "I'm not talking about the sequence of events. I'm talking about your feelings. I can only imagine what you've been going through."

Scott shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it. I don't even want to think about it."

Jeff gave Scott's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "It's not good to bottle this up. Please Scott, talk to me. I want to help you."

Scott shook his father's hand off his shoulder. "I don't deserve help. It won't change anything. It won't bring Gordon back. It won't change the fact that I sat there completely helpless as my brother died in my arms. It won't change the fact that my last words that he heard from me were an order." Scott's voice began to crack. "I told him that he would be all right, but he knew better. He knew that he was dying, but I couldn't even acknowledge that. I didn't even tell him that I loved him. What kind of a selfish jerk am I? Especially since it should have…" Scott's voice drifted away as his face filled with agony.

"Since it should have been what?" Jeff asked.

Scott shook his head. "Nothing. Forget it. It doesn't matter."

"It does matter." Jeff pushed his son. "Something other than Gordon's death is tearing you apart. I can see it written all over your face. Please Scott, tell me."

Scott sighed and ran a hand over his face. "It should have been me, Dad. That bullet was meant for me. If I had handled Mitchner better, he wouldn't have been so angry. I should have sent Gordon back to Thunderbird 2. Breaking down mobile control is my job. I should have been the one doing it, not him. I know that I said it was your fault, but really it was mine. I'm the field commander. You trusted me to take care of my brothers and I blew it. I'm so sorry Dad." Scott turned away as tears began to fall.

Jeff could hear as Scott's emotions shone through his words. He put an arm around Scott's shoulder. He could feel the resistance in his son. "This wasn't your fault…"

"Yes, it was!" Scott cried as his heart broke. "He was my little brother. I should have protected him. He trusted me. I failed and now he's dead!"

Scott finally broke down completely as his grief consumed him. Jeff pulled him into a tight embrace as Scott sobbed uncontrollably into his father's chest. Jeff silently held his son as his own tears fell. Finally Scott's sobs subsided, but he still leaned heavily against his dad. Jeff knew that it was a weakness borne of emotional exhaustion.

Gently Jeff ran a hand up and down Scott's back. "Are you ok?"

That normally would sound like an odd question given the circumstances, but Scott understood what his dad meant and nodded his head.

Jeff pulled back a little bit. "Then I want you to listen to me. YOU were NOT to blame for this. Nobody knew this was going to happen. Mitchner, and he alone, was responsible for this. I know it's hard. I've been battling my own feelings of guilt. If you had done anything to change this, it could've been you who was killed, and I would be having this conversation with Gordon. I want you to know that you can talk to me at anytime. We need to rely on each other to get through this."

Scott closed his eyes and took a deep breath but didn't respond.

"Scott? Did you hear me?" Jeff questioned. "Scott? Scott, open your eyes and look at me."

As his father spoke to him, the voice seemed to change. It seemed to rise up in pitch, more like Gordon's voice, but that was impossible. Scott brushed it off as a result of fatigue. The voice continued to press him.

"Come on Scott; wake up."

"Wake up?" Scott thought. "But I'm not sleeping, am I?"

Scott opened his eyes and a figure swam blurredly in front of his face. Slowly the figure took form, a form with red hair. "Red hair? I've got to be dreaming." Scott thought. Scott rubbed his eyes and looked again, fighting back the pounding that seemed to have taken up residence in his head.

The figure smiled and said. "Are you finally back with us?"

"Gordon? Is that you?" Scott asked as he tried to work through the confusion that seemed to cloud his mind.

"Yeah, bro, it's me." Gordon responded. "That must have been some dream that you were having. We've been trying to wake you up for over five minutes."

Scott realized that he was laying on one of the beds in the sickroom with his family gathered around him, all with worried looks plastered on their faces.

Scott rubbed his aching head. "What happened?" He asked.

"You were injured on the last rescue." Jeff explained. "You took a hard knock to the head."

"Rescue?" Scott asked still trying to make sense of what was going on around him. "What rescue?"

"We were called to a rescue at Mitchner industries…" Virgil began.

"Mitchner!" Scott exclaimed as he bolted up to a sitting position, startling his family members. "He had a gun! He shot at me!"

Virgil grabbed one of Scott's shoulders. "Hey, calm down. It's ok. He missed."

Gordon placed his hand on Scott's other shoulder. "I'm sorry Scott. When I saw the gun, I just reacted. I never even saw the rock…"

Scott started patting the front of Gordon. "Gordon," He said in a choked voice. "You're alive? But…but…he shot you. I held you as…as…oh God, am I dreaming?"

Gordon grasped Scott's hands. "No, you're not dreaming. I'm ok, really. He missed us both. Although I have a feeling that you had one whopper of a dream while you were unconscious."

At that moment the vid-link began to beep. Jeff keyed the comm. unit and the screen flashed to life revealing John's face.

"Dad," John began. "I was just checking on…" He paused for a moment when he caught sight of Scott sitting on the bed. "Hey, sleeping beauty is awake. I was just calling to check on you. It's good to see you awake, Scott."

Scott seemed to relax a bit. "Thanks John. How long was I out?" He asked.

"A little over 2 ½ hours." Jeff explained. "We were getting a little concerned, especially a few minutes ago when you started calling for Gordon and saying that 'it was your fault'. You want to tell me what's been going through your head?"

"I think that it was a continuation of the rescue." Scott began. "Correct me if I'm wrong. Mitchner accused Gordon of stealing some files and wanted him arrested. When the police officer refused to arrest Gordon, he came back with a gun and took a shot at us. Everything right so far?"

His family members nodded. "Yeah, so far everything is right." Gordon said.

"Ok, I guess this is where things start getting off." Scott said, looking at Gordon. "I remember you pushing me out of the way and taking the bullet."

"No wonder you were so upset when you woke up." Gordon interjected.

"That wasn't all of it." Scott continued. "In my… 'dream'…you died in my arms." Scott ran a hand over his face. "God, it was so real. I mean I even dreamed the funeral and everything."

"And knowing you, you were filled with guilt and self-recriminations." Virgil broke in.

Scott nodded. "So what really happened?"

Gordon shrugged. "Nothing as exciting as your 'dream'. I pushed you out of the way. Mitchner's shot missed us both. Officer Harrison winged Mitchner and arrested him. You hit your head on a rock and were out cold. The paramedics said that your vitals were stable, so we brought you home. End of story."

"Not quite," Scott said. "One thing I did learn is to let people know how you feel while you still have the chance." Pulling Gordon into a hug, he said. "I love you Gordon. I always will, even when you are being a pain in the butt." Scott released Gordon and looked at the rest of his family. "I love you all. I want you to always remember that. You never know when something may happen." Scott stopped as he became emotional.

"The feeling is mutual, big brother." John said smiling. "I hope you know that. If I was there I would give you a great big hug to prove it."

"Well, we're here, so we'll do it. Right, guys?" Alan volunteered.

Scott found himself engulfed by his three brothers. Their group hug turned into a giant wrestling match.

"Ok, ok, I give." Scott said laughing.

His three brothers piled off of him laughing too.

Virgil gave Scott a playful punch on the arm. "Don't scare us like that again."

"I'll do my best." Scott laughed.

"So Scott," Gordon said with a mischievous glint in his eye. "What was my funeral like?"

The other brothers reacted.

"GORDON!"

"I can't believe you asked that!"

"What were you thinking?"

Scott just shook his head and laughed. Never again would he take his brothers for granted.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Ok, this chapter was supposed to be the real ending for this story. When Grumpy and Convert first started writing fan fiction, Convert had only one rule: NO DEATH FICS. Grumpy had pestered her for months about doing this story, but she only agreed if she could end it as a nightmare for Scott. GRUMPY AGREED TO THAT STIPULATION. Unfortunately as the story was written, Grumpy pestered Convert again to leave it as a death fic. So this is the compromise that we came up with. For all those who enjoy death fics, we hope you enjoyed Chapter 5. For those who don't like death fics, Chapter 6 was for you. Thanks for reading.


End file.
